


Tell The World I Made It

by Aspenthekitsune



Category: Cartoon Therapy (Web Series), Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Anxiety Attacks, Bullying, Character Death, Chronic Illness, Coffee Shops, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Financial Issues, Heavy Angst, Homelessness, Homophobia, Illnesses, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Kid Thomas Sanders, Major Character Injury, Minor Character Death, Multi, Panic Attacks, Parent Death, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Threats of Violence, Underage Drinking, Violence, Vomiting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-27
Updated: 2020-11-16
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:14:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 23
Words: 40,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26147005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aspenthekitsune/pseuds/Aspenthekitsune
Summary: “Such a fucking FAILURE” He shouted into the night, though his voice came out as more of a strangled cry then a shout. “I couldn’t keep one family member alive. Not. One. “ He cried.“Maybe dad was right to leave,” Virgil spat bitterly. “I wouldn’t want to have to be around  me either. I’m a waste of a son.”Virgil cried anew until the first rays of the morning sun climbed the horizon and peaked over the building tops, flooding the street with it’s soft golden glow. But all the colors seemed muted as Virgil held the limp body tightly in his arms. "It wasn't the first time Virgil had faced loss, but that sure didn't make it any easier.
Relationships: Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders & Deceit | Janus Sanders, Dr. Emile Picani/Sleep | Remy Sanders
Comments: 100
Kudos: 63





	1. Where It All Began

**Author's Note:**

> Hello there! I hope you enjoy reading this fic! It's the first of many to come! Please read the tags to make sure you avoid any triggering content! This piece has some really heavy topics and potentially triggering content! I will do my best to include warnings at the beginning of each chapter, but if there is something you think I should tag that I have missed, please tell me in the comments and I will make sure to put the warning in as soon as possible! Also, I will be including an alternative ending where there will be no suicide attempts (Bar the father's death) and also no major character death that will diverge at chapter 12, so look forward to that!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CHAPTER WARNINGS: Death, suicide,

**_Chapter 1: Where It All Began_ **

_It was a quiet Friday night in mid July in Valerian. Valerian is a rural town where you’re bound to run into most members of the town during your time there. Everything was peaceful in the Thompson household. Mrs. Thompson could be found knitting on the couch by the light of a candle. (They had lights, but she always loved using candles at night anyway. She loved the atmosphere; said it reminded her of her childhood and her own mother.). The two boys could be found in their bedroom: Virgil working on a pencil sketch of a raven, and Thomas coloring a sketch of a dragon his brother had made for him. Mr. Thompson was in the bedroom working on some papers. At least, that’s what he was supposed to be doing. That’s what Virgil thought he was doing when the boy went to show his father the finished sketch of the raven. But all thoughts of art were quickly forgotten when he saw what his father had really been doing._

_He was doing something horrible. He was doing something so horrid that Virgil wasn’t sure he could ever forgive his father. But looking at the limp body hanging from a rope, Virgil realized it wouldn’t matter if he forgave the man or not. He wouldn’t be able to tell him anyway…_

_Virgil didn’t even scream. He wanted to scream; he wanted to scream_ **_so badly_ ** _, but the sound just wouldn’t come out. He watched in horror as those dead, gray, lifeless eyes stared back at him. The man who he had looked up to now hung in front of him with a rope around his broken neck. It took all his willpower to turn away. He didn’t want to see it anymore, but he couldn’t stop seeing it._

_His father had loved them; he would always compliment Virgil’s art and show him how to play songs on the guitar. He would take Thomas to doctors’ appointments and support him, he even stayed with him when the pain grew to be too much for the little boy. He would kiss their mother goodbye on the cheek, and they would laugh together over dinner. Things had been going so well...._ **_What happened?_ **

_Virgil walked numbly down the stairs, shaking like a leaf. He was 15, it wasn’t like he’d never heard of suicide. It wasn’t some unfathomable act, heck. He’d even contemplated it himself a couple times. But seeing it in front of him, he realized that he was_ **_so glad_ ** _he’d never followed through. He never wanted anyone to have to see that, but he had to tell his mother. So he walked up to the couch and sat down beside her._

_“.....Mom?”_

_“Yes, honey?”_

_“......Dad isn’t doing paperwork......”_

_“Oh? What is he doing?”_

_“.....hanging...”_

_“.......What?”_

_“...._ _Mom?”_

_“..Virgil?”_

  
_“....._ **_He’s gone_ ** _.....”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there! Kudos and comments are greatly appreciated and I will do my best to respond to comments as soon as possible! If you don't want me to respond to your comment then feel free to put 'whisper' at the beginning of your comment and I will leave it alone, and if not then expect a reply! If you think I missed anything in the tags or chapter warnings, then feel free to tell me in the comments and I will add said tag as soon as I can. Look forward to longer chapters from here on out, I think this is the shortest one out of all of them.
> 
> See you next time!   
> \- Aspen


	2. Gone Before You Know It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "1 month. That’s how long it took for everything to fall apart. 31 days was all it took to change everything Virgil once thought to be set in stone."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CHAPTER WARNINGS: Character death, Illness, bullying, mentions of eviction

**_Chapter 2: Gone Before You Know It_ **

  
  


It had been 3 months since that day. At home, everything had changed. They moved to a small apartment to be able to afford rent without their father’s income. Thomas, Virgil, and their mother all shared a bedroom and there was a bathroom and a kitchen. It wasn’t too bad, but Virgil couldn’t help but feel uneasy with all the change. They still stayed in the same school though. It wasn’t the best same, but it was routine, and that was good enough for Virgil. 

_Go to bus stop, ride bus to school, wait for Matthew to come around, go to secluded area, take the beating without complaint, Cover up any obvious bruises with makeup in the bathroom, go to class, keep your head down and listen, walk through halls, get picked on by students, go to lunch, hide in the library, hope you don’t pass by Matthew in afternoon classes, go to bus pick up area, get beat up again, miss bus, fix makeup, walk home._

Again, maybe not the best normal, but _normal_. He would take the small blessings at this point. Getting breakfast and dinner everyday, having a roof to live under, everyone being in good health, (Or as good of health as Thomas can get.) They were all things that most would take for granted, but Virgil learned very quickly how fast it could all slip away. 

1 month. That’s how long it took for everything to fall apart. 31 days was all it took to change everything Virgil once thought to be set in stone.

_Day 1_

Things were alright, it was normal. The new normal, but still normal. 

_Day 5_

Things were odd, their mom never ate with them anymore. She was always at work taking extra shifts, or she just said she was tired and went off to bed. 

_Day 11_

Virgil started hearing his mom having hushed conversations on the phone late at night. Always consisting of _‘please, just give me one more week. I promise I’ll have it for you by then_ ’ It happened every week or so. Virgil knew his mom was struggling with finances, so he took up playing his guitar on the streets and at events to try and help. This made it harder to keep Thomas in the dark, though. 

_Day 15_

Their mom began acting strange. She always wore a medical mask around the boys. She said it was required for her job and she just didn’t take it off, but Virgil knew better. He heard the coughing fits in the bathroom late at night. Heard her shallow breathing next to them in bed. He knew why she was suddenly home every day but refused to play with Thomas for long periods of time. She was getting sick, really sick. _And they didn’t have the money to stop it_. 

_Day 20_

He saw this coming.Virgil did everything he could to stop it from coming _but it still came_. So here he stood with his mother and little brother looking for a safe place to spend the night. They didn’t have the money to stay at a hotel or anything, so they were walking down streets of Valerian’s more urbanized area to find an alleyway to sleep in. Virgil spent the day scouting and eventually found a decently clean alleyway place. It was a dead end, so there was only one entrance to watch, it had a dumpster in it which provided a place to hide if they needed it, and it was close to Virgil’s busking spot and within 10 miles of Thomas’ school.

_Day 25_

Virgil had dropped out of school a couple days ago. Not officially of course, because that would require a lot of questions he didn’t have answers to and meetings that could not be held. He just stopped appearing at the building. _It’s not like he was going to be missed anyway_ . The only one who _might_ care was Roman, but Virgil decided at the start of this whole fiasco that he wasn’t going to burden Roman with his problems, so maybe it was for the best he left. Maybe Roman would even be bullied less now that Virgil wasn’t there to ruin his reputation by relation. 

_Day 30_

_“It’s alright, it will all be over soon”_ Virgil whispered in a weak attempt to comfort his dying mother. The words he spoke were morbid and cruel to some, but Virgil knew that dying was the most merciful option for his mother, and she seemed to know it too _._ He knew for a fact that his mother’s feeble breath wouldn’t last for much longer. He watched in horror as she lay still on the ground, hanging on to life by a thread.

_Day 31_

It’s over now. She’s gone. All of her words were spinning through his head, but in the center of all the spinning, lay one sentence she had always told him. It was the thing she told him when his dog died, she told it to Thomas every time he thought the pain was too much. It was what she told Virgil when she first had to pull the disassembled razor blade out of her son’s shaking hands, and it was the last thing she said when she looked into her sons’ eyes for the last time.

_“No matter how hard the world pushes you down, you're going to be telling it one thing,” she would scold boldly while looking the boys in the eyes.“You tell the world you’re gonna make it.”_

Through all the uncertainty that night, Virgil knew one thing for sure.

_He was going to do everything in his power to make sure that they made it._

_No_

  
_He_ **_was_ ** _going to make it, and_ **_nothing_ ** _could stand in his way._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there! Kudos and comments are greatly appreciated and I will do my best to respond to comments as soon as possible! If you don't want me to respond to your comment then feel free to put 'whisper' at the beginning of your comment and I will leave it alone, and if not then expect a reply! If you think I missed anything in the tags or chapter warnings, then feel free to tell me in the comments and I will add said tag as soon as I can. 
> 
> See you next time!   
> \- Aspen


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CHAPTER WARNINGS: Graphic depictions of violence, bullying, underage drinking, reference to past character death, injury,

**_Chapter 3: Through Hell and High Water, We Carry On_ **

It was a quiet night, the only noises were those of chirping crickets and the near silent sound of a bird landing on the old rusty swing set. The peaceful silence filled the air as Virgil cocooned Thomas in a blanket, letting the boy lay across his lap in a small roofed area of the abandoned playground. It didn’t take long until Virgil began to hear soft snores coming from the boy curled up in his lap, his even breaths allowing Virgil to finally release the tension in his shoulders and breathe a sigh of relief. Times had been tough since their mom had passed, both of them were still dealing with the loss, although Thomas was the most affected. He would still go to sleep crying most nights, and call out for their mother in his sleep. It broke Virgil’s heart, because there was nothing he could do, no place he could go that would calm the little boy, no magic trick he could perform to take away the aching in his heart, no person he could get him away from, nothing. He felt so helpless when he looked down to see his brother’s pained face, not even sleep could give him respite from the aching in his heart.

Virgil was also torn apart by his mother’s death,  _ not that he would ever let Thomas know that _ . He refused to show weakness in front of Thomas, refused to show him how broken and tired Virgil truly was. He had never allowed himself so much as a wince of pain in front of his brother, there was no superhero coming to save them, no angels holding their hands and showing them the way, there was only darkness, so Virgil had to make a torch for them.Virgil would sacrifice himself if it meant keeping Thomas safe. He made a promise to their mother, and he  _ never _ goes back on his word. He promised his mother that he would keep Thomas safe, and if that meant working himself into the ground until he was holding onto sanity by a thread, then so be it. Thomas was the only good thing left in his life, and he’d be damned if he didn’t do everything to keep him safe and happy. 

_ Snap,  _ the sound of a twig snapping could be heard from where Virgil was sitting.

_ “Come on guys, let’s get this party started!”  _

The voice rang out against the trees. Virgil felt every muscle in his body go tense at the sound.  _ Shit. _ Virgil knew that voice all too well. He had been its intended target too many times to count, but he couldn’t afford that right now, not with Thomas here. He knew how much rage this man’s eyes could hold, he knew the pain that his fists could bring, and he knew every detail of the deranged smile that will likely be the last thing you see before you pass out wherever they leave you. He was far too familiar with the process, and he wasn’t about to let Thomas fall victim to that. He quickly searched the surrounding area for the best escape route while quietly shoving their meager rations back into the backpack. _ Dangit! We’re almost out of Thomas’s meds, and I can’t afford another refill yet! Well, that’s a problem for a different time… _

Virgil quickly finished packing up their stuff and gently shook Thomas awake. The boy slowly blinked upon being awoken, rubbing at his eyes for a moment before looking back up to Virgil. 

“Vee?” Thomas rasped, “What’s wrong?” 

“Hey Tommy, I need you to stay really quiet now for me, okay?” Virgil took a shaky breath before continuing, trying to keep the shake out of his voice. “There are some bad people here, and we need to get out very quickly without them seeing us.” Virgil explained, trying to formulate a quick route of escape. If he could get Thomas into the woods by the edge of the park, maybe they could quietly skirt the edges and get to the main road? Or maybe he could take a path through the woods that led to the main park? As he heard the clink of bottles, he realized that it didn’t matter if the plan was good or not  _ because time is running out and it’s the only plan I have.  _

“Alright Thomas, listen closely. I’m going to pick you up and carry you to the edge of the woods, and we are going to move as quietly as possible to try and get to the road. It is VERY important that you stay absolutely silent, okay? And if they see us, I need you to do what I tell you to without any questions, okay?” Virgil whispered, looking Thomas dead in the eyes. He looked so scared that it broke Virgil’s heart, but maybe the fear would be enough to get Thomas to allow Virgil to do something possibly insane should they get caught. Thomas nodded mutely and sat up, allowing Virgil to pick him up and hold him closely to his chest. “I won’t let anything happen to you, I promise.” Virgil promised, sounding much more sure than he felt. 

Carefully avoiding any squeaky planks, Virgil made his way down to the ground and stole one more glance towards the partying teenagers. They seemed to have all stilled, most of them turned in one direction. Ice ran through Virgil’s veins as he realised that they were all looking in  _ his _ direction. A silhouette started walking towards Virgil, becoming slightly more visible as he was less backlit by the raging bonfire.  _ Matthew  _ Virgil gulped as he recognized the leader of the group of bullies in his school. The man who left Virgil hiding bruises and limps for most of his school years. Virgil was frozen like a deer in headlights as the tall teenager made his way over, his group of lackeys slowly creeping up behind him, cackling like a bunch of hyenas. 

“ _ Virgil, _ ” Matthew purred, walking confidently towards the emo teen. “How  _ lovely _ to see you here! Finally decided to come back to the job after disappearing from school? The days are quite  _ boring _ without you, you know?” He continued with a sickly sweet smile. Thomas quietly whimpered in Virgil’s arms, curling closer to his brother’s chest in fear. Virgil gripped him protectively closer, trying to shield the little boy from Matthew, but he was already too late, as an unhinged smile grew on Matthew’s face. 

“ _ Oh?  _ I see you brought a little guest with you. I’m sure he’ll  _ love  _ the show,” Matthew cooed. 

“Leave him out of this Matthew. He’s a terrified 6 year old who’s done nothing to you.” Virgil growled “This fight is between you and me, leave him out of this.” Virgil placed Thomas off to the side with their bags and instructed him to stay there. 

“Thomas, I need you to sit here while I talk to Matthew. Don’t move from this spot, and DO NOT try to stop Matthew, no matter what he does to me, alright?” Thomas just looked at him with tears in his eyes, and Virgil was forced to turn away from the terrified child and face Matthew once again. 

“Fine then,” Matthew spat. “Between you and me.” 

Not even a second passed before Matthew’s fist met Virgil’s face, knocking the boy to the ground. Virgil had only a second to recover before a myriad of kicks and punches attacked him as he lay hopelessly on the ground. Virgil desperately tried to fight back, or at least get into a position where he could shield his torso, but the hits just kept coming as he was held still by the attacks. Finally, he heard a sickening crack as pain exploded in his chest. Virgil let out a blood curdling scream as he felt something snap. Matthew just laughed as he signaled his minions to step back. He looked over Virgil’s crumpled body and shallow breathing with sick satisfaction before his gaze moved to Thomas, watching the silent tears streaming down the child’s face. 

“Isn’t it beautiful little boy? Soon his skin will be like a galaxy of blues blacks and purples. It will be so pretty!” One of the drunken teens slurred. The teen slowly creeped towards Thomas, who shrunk back as far as he could, his eyes wide with fear. 

“ _ Leave _ -” Virgil rasped, stopping to give a pained cough. Paying no mind to the bit of blood that now dripped out of the corner of his mouth. “ _ L-leave him alone _ .” Virgil tried, but the intoxicated teen paid him no mind, just continued to step closer and closer to the cowering child. 

“ **_Please!!_ ** _ ”  _ Virgil cried out, desperately attempting to drag himself over to Thomas, but he found himself being pinned to the ground by Matthew’s leg. He turned to his bully with a new desperation in his eyes. It almost startled Matthew to see the intense emotion behind his gaze. “Please, I’ll do anything! I’ve seen it before, I know you’ve seen it too! Don’t make me watch it again, don’t make me watch it!” Virgil cried, full on sobbing now. Matthew flinched back at the teen’s broken sobs. 

“The hell are you talking about?” Matthew spat. Trying to rack his brain for what the boy could possibly mean?.

“ _ The eyes, those dead eyes!!  _ Don’t make me watch them turn to grey!! I can’t see that again, please!! Please don’t make me, I’ve already watched it twice, I don’t want to see it again!” Virgil pleaded. 

Apparently Virgil had said the right thing, because Matthew’s weight was abruptly lifted from Virgil’s shoulder. Virgil immediately sprung forward, ignoring the pain that was caused by every movement, and threw himself in front of Thomas. He hissed like a feral cat, which startled the drunken teen enough to get him to move back. 

“Leave,” Matthew’s voice was suddenly cold and harsh. His stony gaze was fixed on Virgil. 

Virgil stared at him with disbelieving eyes, waiting for another round of punches to ensue, but none came. When he looked around, he was only met with the stone cold glare of his attacker. 

“I said,  **_leave_ ** .” His voice was so emotionless it sent shivers down everyone’s spine. 

Virgil quickly stood up at the command, hauling Thomas into his arms despite the fact that he knew it was going to hurt later. He couldn’t bring himself to care in the moment, and the adrenaline pumping through his veins left him blissfully numb for the moment. He picked up their bags and turned to face Matthew one more time, who was still staring cooly at the battered boy. 

“If I see you in this town again, I won’t be so merciful. That’s a promise.” He stated with such confidence that Virgil just nodded and sprinted away as fast as his shaking legs could carry him. 

Virgil ran all the way to the bus station across town, and sat down on the bench before pulling out the little money they had left.  _ Only 20 dollars _ , virgil thought sadly before pulling a 5 dollar bill out of the stack to pay for their bus tickets. He didn’t know where he was going, but he needed to get at least two towns over to be safe.  _ Maybe I could find somewhere to busk, or somewhere I can work without people questioning me.  _ Virgil thought while he waited for the next bus. It was currently midnight, so his best bet was to wait for the bus that normally came here around 12:15 AM for the night workers. It was usually just hospital workers who had the late shift, or tired business men who stayed way too late at the office. It all worked in his favor because with people so tired and sleep deprived they probably wouldn’t pay the bruised teen much mind. 

Virgil took as deep of a breath as possible before looking down at Thomas, who was still trembling in his arms. Thomas looked up at his brother with big scared eyes and tears running down his face. It broke Virgil’s heart to think that the boy had to watch that. Virgil just held Thomas closer to his chest, doing his best to ignore the pain, and sung a simple lullaby to try and quiet the boy. People may ignore a bruised teenager, but a sobbing child was much more noticeable, and he couldn’t risk being found by CPS. 

“ _ Lavender's blue, dilly, dilly, Lavender’s green,”  _

Virgil sang softly, his voice still melodic despite how much it hurt to breath. 

“ _ When I am king, dilly, dilly, you will be queen. _ ” 

Virgil adjusted Thomas in his arms to the best of his ability and kept his focus on the bus lights coming up in the distance. He continued singing in a low voice as he waved over the bus. 

“ _ Who told you so dilly dilly, who told you so? _ ” 

Virgil sang quietly as he walked onto the bus and held up two fingers to the driver, an older woman who smiled softly at the sleepy boy cradled in Virgil’s arms. She took the money from Virgil and gave him the appropriate amount of change before sending one more soft smile to the now sleeping figure in Virgil’s arms. Virgil did his best not to jostle Thomas as he gave the bus driver a grateful smile and moved through the near empty rows to the back of the bus and sat down..

“  _ ‘Twas my own heart dilly dilly, that told me so. _ ” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there! Kudos and comments are greatly appreciated and I will do my best to respond to comments as soon as possible! If you don't want me to respond to your comment then feel free to put 'whisper' at the beginning of your comment and I will leave it alone, and if not then expect a reply! If you think I missed anything in the tags or chapter warnings, then feel free to tell me in the comments and I will add said tag as soon as I can. 
> 
> The song I use in this chapter is called 'Lavender's Blue'. I could not find the composer, but if you look it up by that or by the lyrics you should be able to find it easily!
> 
> See you next time!   
> \- Aspen


	4. Friends In Higher Places

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CHAPTER WARNINGS: Description of injuries, discussions of homelessness, references to past homelessness, reference to violence

**_Chapter 4: Friends In Higher Places_ **

Virgil and Thomas had been on the bus for about half an hour when a voice from across the isle rang out on the near silent bus.

“Hey there, where are you kids heading?” The man sitting across from them on the bus asked. He had boarded just two stops ago, and had been silently watching the two boys with a curious stare ever since.

Virgil jumped at the voice, jostling Thomas in his lap. Thomas jerked awake and flew back into Virgil’s chest, causing a pained hiss to escape the teen. Virgil took a second to breathe through the worst of the pain before going to comfort his brother. 

“Hey, it’s okay, Thomas. You’re safe, I’m right here.” Virgil soothed, stroking his hand through his brother’s hair. He moved Thomas so that he was laying with his head in Virgil’s lap. Virgil took another pained breath and continued stroking Thomas’s hair as he spoke. 

“We’re going to Chespeake city to visit family.” Virgil replied, keeping his voice as level as possible as the stranger looked him over. He wasn’t originally planning on going to Chespeak, but it seemed like a good destination, and from what he could remember, there were some nice areas to busk, as well as some nice neighborhoods where he might be able to babysit or something. Virgil could feel the man’s stare burning into his skin, which was probably turning a wonderful array of blacks, blues, and yellows right about now. His bruises had always become visible quicker than most. 

“You’ve got some pretty nasty bruises there,” The stranger observed. “And based on your reaction to your Brother jerking awake, I’m guessing your chest isn’t in much better shape. Although, I’ve got to admit, you have a really nice singing voice.” They complimented. Virgil eyed them warily.

“Thanks…” Virgil accepted cautiously “You sure are...observant..” He noted, looking the stranger over with suspicion. The man chuckled. Virgil noted that there was a large burn scar that covered half of his face, as well as a deep scar that ran from the left corner of his mouth to the base of his ear. 

“I’m an ER doctor that specializes in kids. They never want to tell you how bad it really hurts, trying to protect their pride or whatever, so you have to do some deducing. Good observation is practically in the job requirements.” The man explained. He turned to fully face Virgil and stuck out a hand in greeting. “I’m Janus Sullivan; referred to on the job as Dr. Scar due to obvious reasons, but I am also told I monologue like a disney villain, so the name also references the character.” Janus added with a smirk. 

“They’re not exactly wrong,” Virgil chuckled. Wincing at the pain that still rattled in his chest. “I’m Virgil, and this is my brother Thomas.” Virgil introduced himself. He wasn’t normally one to give his name away to strangers, but this man seemed trustworthy, and he would probably never see him again after this bus ride, so Virgil gave him the benefit of the doubt. 

“Nice to meet you Virgil. I know this is rather blunt, but you look like someone who would want me to get straight to the point.” Virgil stared in shock at the scary accuracy of this guy’s claims. “I would like to look over your wounds, specifically your chest, and make sure that nothing is in need of immediate medical attention. I can see that you are in a lot of pain, and I want to help. However if you would rather I not, then I will respect your wishes.  _ However,  _ with how you carry around your little brother so much, I think we  _ both  _ know that it would be good to have yourself checked out. And since I’m willing to do it for free, I think it is a deal worth taking.” Janus concluded. 

_ Damn this guy is persuasive. _

Virgil battled with his thoughts for a moment before the bus hit a bump in the road.The movement sent his chest into instant agony. Virgil clenched his teeth and did his best to breathe through the pain before looking over to the man once more. Once the pain subsided, Virgil decided it was worth the risk and gave Janus a shaky defeated nod before moving Thomas off his lap and settling him against the wall with their bag and Virgil’s guitar case. 

Janus gave him a small smile and moved to pull out his briefcase while Virgil moved to pull off his hoodie. Janus watched pitifully as the kid struggled to lift his arms above his head.  _ This might be worse than I thought _ . Janus thought bitterly as he moved closer to Virgil. 

“Would you like some help removing your sweatshirt?” Janus offered softly with a kind smile. Virgil blushed in embarrassment.  _ Can’t even get my own freaking sweatshirt off my head. How pathetic.  _ He thought, before giving a small nod. As Janus helped Virgil work his hoodie off, Janus had to fight to keep a straight face as he saw Virgil’s torso. Not only was it littered with dozens of bruises and scars in multiple stages of forming and healing, but you could see the faint outlines of his ribs, one of which seemed to be sticking out at an odd angle. Adding the scrapes and cuts on his back, there seemed to be only small regions of skin that  _ weren’t _ damaged, not to mention that the kid looked half starved. Janus took a deep breath before opening his bag and pulling out a bottle of antiseptic along with a large roll of bandages. 

“Alright, there is a lot of bruising, some minor scrapes and cuts, and a concerning rib that’s sticking out at a weird angle.” Janus listed off, purposefully not mentioning that he looked more akin to a gangly stick than a human being. “ First, I’m going to clean the scrapes and cuts with some antiseptic, which will sting a bit, but infections would hurt worse. And then I’m going to bandage up your chest, alright?” Janus asked for consent. He wanted to help this kid, and from the looks of it, he probably wasn’t just ‘ _ visiting family _ ’ like he said he was, so Janus wanted to do what he could to make sure that he received the proper medical attention. 

Once Virgil gave a nod of consent, Janus got to work. He swiftly cleaned up the scrapes as painlessly as possible, and then moved on to bandaging his torso. Thomas woke up about half way through the process, but he just watched cautiously and held his brother’s hand to make sure that he was okay. Janus noted that the moment Thomas stiffed awake Virgil ceased making any noises of pain. He just calmly explained the situation to his brother and then went silent for the most part. Janus was honestly impressed at how he managed to stay completely silent during the process of wrapping his chest. The only clue that he was even slightly in pain was a sharp inhale when the bandage hit the broken rib. It was kind of sad though, because Janus knew that the kind of skill this kid possessed only came from years of practice. Meaning whoever had given Virgil these bruises had likely been doing so for years. 

Once he was done treating Virgil, Janus turned his attention to Thomas. 

“Hey Thomas, I’m Janus. I’m a doctor, and I would like to know if you are hurt at all. Your brother got some pretty nasty bruises and if you got hurt I can help you feel better.” Janus said with a warm smile, speaking softly as he does with all of the younger children at the ER. Thomas looked at him for a second before scooting closer to Virgil’s side. Virgil, who was now back in his hoodie, shifted Thomas into his lap once more and waited for the boy to answer. 

“N-no. I’m not hurt. VeeVee made sure that all the bad guys stayed away from me. It was scary, and one guy almost hurt me, but Vee saved me.” Thomas whispered. “He’s my hero.”

Janus smiled sadly at the boy and laid one of his hands on Virgil’s shoulder before giving it a light squeeze. 

“I’m sure he is. He seems very brave.” Janus said, sending a smile to Virgil before turning his attention back to Thomas. At least now he knew where the bruises came from. Bullies maybe? It couldn’t have been a fair fight, this looked more like a beating than a street fight. Although exactly  _ how _ anything would have happened at 11:00 PM on a Monday still eluded Janus, but he decided it was best not to dwell on it. Besides, something tells him that Thomas is lying about being in pain. The boy had scrunched up his face when Virgil had pulled him into his lap, and he seemed to be sitting rather awkwardly. 

“Are you sure you’re not in pain? You seem to be sitting pretty weirdly, and you seemed to be in pain when Virgil moved you to his lap.” Janus explained. This caused Thomas to look away in shame, and Virgil to look down at his brother with worry. 

“Oh, Tommy. Is it your joints again? Do you think it’s another flare up?” Virgil asked so softly that his voice was barely more than a whisper. Thomas nodded guiltily as Virgil ever so gently rubbed his hand up and down his little brother's back in a rhythmic motion. “Why didn’t you tell me? You know you can always tell me when you are hurt, right?” 

“I know…” Thomas let out a sigh. “But you’ve been so tired lately, and you are always working, and I just didn’t want to bother you. Plus, it only started hurting yesterday, and it wasn’t that bad!” Thomas tried to defend himself. Virgil just took a deep breath and put the back of his hand to his own forehead before putting it to his brother’s, frowning a bit as he pulled back. He then reached into his bag, pulling out a bottle of ibuprofen and a water bottle as he talked. 

“You can always come to me Thomas, it doesn’t matter if I am working, or if I am tired, I need to know that you are okay. And that means that you need to tell me when it starts hurting too bad, okay?” Virgil gently scolded the child, but anyone could see that it was only out of love. Virgil looked Thomas in the eye, gently cupping his hand around Thomas’ cheek and stroking it lovingly. Thomas just nodded in response. “Good, now how about you take some ibuprofen. It will help with the pain and keep the fever from running too high. You’re only running a little bit of a fever, but I would rather take care of it now before it gets too bad. I should have noticed the rash too.” Virgil offered, scolding himself for not being vigilant enough. His eyes lingered on the reddened skin of his brother’s cheeks and nose before he moved to help Thomas take the ibuprofen. 

“So I take it he has Lupus?” Janus guessed. And based on the shocked look coming from Virgil, he hit the nail right on the head.

“H-how!? It took months to get the diagnosis in the first place, how on earth did you guess so quickly!?” Virgil asked in shock.

“Well, my partner Remus also struggles with Lupus, so I recognized the rash on his face, and the talk of joint pain, fevers, and flare ups just went to back up my suspicion. Not to mention that a receipt fell out of the pocket of your backpack which had a purchase of a month’s supply of Azathioprine, which is an immunosuppressant commonly used in the treatment of severe Lupus. My partner was on that medication for a while.” Janus explained. Virgil was still gaping like a fish out of water. Janus gave an amused smile at the boy’s reaction. “I’ll admit, it is very rare to have cases in someone as young as your brother seems to be, but it is possible. And with all the other factors, I just made an educated guess.” 

“Well, I’m glad to know that your workplace has such a good doctor on their team. You are correct, Thomas does have Lupus. He was diagnosed about a year ago, leaving him one of the youngest cases they have ever seen,” Virgil explained. “The worst part was actually finding the right doctors, because it is hard to find doctors in the right fields that worked with children. And getting a child on an immunosuppressant was a nightmare and a half because of possible long term effects. But luckily we found the right people, and other than the flare-ups we’re doing pretty well, huh Thomas?” 

Virgil looked down to Thomas to see the kid already asleep in his arms. He chuckled and ran his hand through Thomas’ hair. 

“Your brother is lucky to have you,” Janus said, smiling at Virgil. “The moment you were alerted that something was wrong, you quickly jumped into action and made sure he knew he could tell you if things got too bad. Having a family member who is there for them through times of extreme pain, physical or otherwise, is just as important as any doctor.” 

“Thanks,” Virgil sighed, he sent a sad look down at Thomas and continued stroking his hand through the little boy's hair. “I’m just scared that it won’t be enough.”He admitted. “I don’t know why I’m sharing this, but we are in a really tough financial situation right now, and I’m just scared that things will go wrong.What if he gets really sick again?  _ I can’t lose him too _ .” The last part came out as a barely audible whisper, but it was enough to make Janus’ heart break at the implication. This kid was obviously no stranger to loss. Taking a deep breath, Janus decided to change his tactic from being a doctor, to just being an ally.

Janus slowly put a steady hand on Virgil’s shaking shoulders. 

“Look,” Janus started, trying to figure out what to say. “I know that you are not going to visit family as you said you were. I’m not sure why you are out here alone in the middle of the night, and I’m not going to pry, but just listen to me when I say this.” Janus moved to look Virgil in the eyes. The look Janus gave Virgil was scarily familiar. In those scared eyes full of uncertainty and vulnerability, Virgil saw himself.

“ Life on the streets isn’t easy, and especially not when you have someone with special needs to care for. It won’t get easier with time, and no matter how used to hiding from the authorities you are, you won’t be able to hide forever. It is likely that something will go wrong and you will be forced to give up your cover in order to protect yourself. However, I understand why you are doing it. I wouldn’t leave my little brother Toby behind for anything, especially if I knew that he would have a hard time being adopted due to special needs.” Virgil stared in shock as Janus sighed and looked out the window. “You said you were going to Chespeak city, right?” 

Virgil nodded mutely, eyes still wide with shock.

“Alright, listen closely. There is a junkyard on the west side of the city that is rarely patrolled by officers. It should be pretty easy to find, my advice is to ask the local jewelry maker who has a stand at the farmer’s market, which lucky for you is running tomorrow afternoon. Ask any local and they can direct you to the market if not directly to the seller’s stand. He picks up scrap metals there, so he should be able to direct you to its location. You risk being found by anyone patrolling, but from what I remember there isn’t really any gang violence there, and it is sheltered from the cold, meaning that it is good for the winter. Your job is to keep your brother safe at all costs. You and I both know that you got lucky this time, and your scars tell me that you know that better than most.” Virgil winced at his accuracy. 

“Thank you sir, I cannot tell you how grateful I am for your kindness tonight. I promise that I will protect Thomas with my life and follow your advice. Thank you.” Virgil thanked him profusely. Janus just smiled and gave his shoulder one last squeeze before moving to pick up his bags. 

“Any time kid, just take care of your brother. I trust that you will make the right choices, you’re a bright kid.” Janus said, standing up in his seat. “This is where I get off, but please, stay safe out there.” The older man moved to the edge of his seat, but turned to face the brother’s one more time. 

“And one last piece of advice: there is a coffee shop a couple blocks away from here that will let you busk without a permit. It is owned by Remy and Emile Picani, and as long as you stay on their good side, they will be your best allies in the city. Rising sun cafe is known for being friendly to everyone who comes in their doors and I know that you will be no exception.” 

And with that, Janus was moving to the front of the bus. Virgil just stared in shock as the man left the bus. He watched out the window to see Janus walk over to another man who was waiting at the bus stop and pull them into a hug. The man, who he assumed to be Janus’ partner, gave Janus a quick peck on the cheek before taking his hand and walking down the road with him. Virgil watched the happy scene in awe as the bus continued down the road. 

_ Maybe people aren’t so bad after all. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there! Kudos and comments are greatly appreciated and I will do my best to respond to comments as soon as possible! If you don't want me to respond to your comment then feel free to put 'whisper' at the beginning of your comment and I will leave it alone, and if not then expect a reply! If you think I missed anything in the tags or chapter warnings, then feel free to tell me in the comments and I will add said tag as soon as I can. 
> 
> See you next time!  
> \- Aspen


	5. Making the most of what we've got

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CHAPTER WARNINGS: nothing! This is pure fluff. Enjoy it while it lasts ;)

**_Chapter 5: Making The Most of What We’ve Got_ **

_ This piece goes here..... that one goes there.... And, done! _

Virgil stood proudly in front of a Pile of scrap wood and metal that  _ somewhat  _ resembled a livable room.  _ It kind of looks livable…. right?  _ Virgil turned to Thomas, who was watching him from his perch atop one of those rentable metal dumpster units. It was flipped upside down and the metal was rusty, but it worked well as a seat. 

“Sooo....” Virgil started. “Thoughts?” Thomas took one look at the shelter and was obviously trying to keep his facial expression under control. 

“It looks..” Thomas hesitated for a moment, trying to find a word to describe it. “It looks like a pile of garbage. But a good pile of garbage!” Thomas tried. Honestly, Virgil was grateful for the honesty, even if it was a harsh truth to tell. 

“Well, then maybe we can be like Oscar the grouch! Do you remember him?” Thomas nodded eagerly at the reference to one of the only cartoons he actually got a chance to watch while they still paid for TV programs. 

“I can be the grumpy old grouch and you can be the lemon, how about that?” Virgil teased with a mischievous smile. Virgil looked around him to see a discarded piece of ratty green fabric in one of the junk piles. It looked to be an old blanket or something, but there were too many holes to tell. Virgil snatched up the fabric and draped it over his head. He then went and hid everything but his head behind an old rubble pile. 

“Who dares enter my home!?” Virgil bellowed in a low gravelly voice. “I’m going to have to throw my lemon at you!” He made up on the spot before looking at Thomas and grinning. Thomas was giggling up a storm from his perch on the storage container, and when Virgil started creeping towards him Thomas got up and ran around the piles of scraps. 

“I’m going to get you!” Virgil called out as he quickly ran in pursuit of the giggling child. It didn’t take long for Virgil to catch up to Thomas, who squealed and squirmed with laughter when Virgil scooped him up in his arms. 

“My lemon is quite wiggly today it seems, maybe he has a squirmy wormy inside of him! Well that simply will not do! I guess I’ll just have to tickle it out of him!” Virgil said in his best Oscar the grouch voice, even though he was probably straying  _ far  _ out of character. Virgil attacked Thomas viciously with tickles for a couple minutes before he finally relented and sat down on the ground with Thomas in his lap. Thomas was just laying there, still giggling, but he didn’t try to move too much. 

“There’s my little sour lemon.” Virgil joked lovingly as he pressed a kiss to Thomas’ head. Thomas just giggled once more and sent a big beaming smile up to Virgil. They both sat there for a couple more hours before they retired to their new temporary hut to rest. It wasn’t perfect, but neither were they. 

_ Sometimes, you’ve just gotta make due with what you have.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there! Kudos and comments are greatly appreciated and I will do my best to respond to comments as soon as possible! If you don't want me to respond to your comment then feel free to put 'whisper' at the beginning of your comment and I will leave it alone, and if not then expect a reply! If you think I missed anything in the tags or chapter warnings, then feel free to tell me in the comments and I will add said tag as soon as I can. 
> 
> See you next time!  
> \- Aspen


	6. Like Birds, We Rise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not really any warnings for this one!

**_Chapter 6: Like Birds, We Rise_ **

It was early Thursday morning as Virgil and Thomas wandered the streets of Chespeake city. The streets were quiet as they walked by rows of shops and restaurants. Chespeake city wasn’t a big city like the urban parts of Valerian, which had tall buildings that were made of metal and glass. The streets were clean and the air lacked the smell of cigarette smoke and sewage systems. Instead, the air smelled of the flowers and trees that grew in planters, flowerbeds, and city green spaces that were scattered around. The city was known for the garden boxes that decorate almost every business. It was much more urbanized than his home city of Valerian, but yet still enjoyable. 

However, Virgil had a specific place in mind that he was searching for as he walked the city streets. Virgil looked down and was particularly amused by Thomas’ reaction to the amount of Pigeons in the area. Whenever they would pass a large group Thomas would stare in awe at the large mass of birds as they walked. At some point, they came across a park where Thomas saw a particularly large group of Pigeons all sitting around a bench where a sweet looking old lady was throwing seed. Thomas watched with stars in his eyes as the woman got a pigeon to fly onto her arm and eat from her hand. 

Before Virgil could stop him Thomas was running towards the pigeons. 

“Wait! Thomas!” Virgil called after him, quickly securing his guitar case on his back before running after his brother. 

Virgil found Thomas slowly walking up to the woman. The woman gave an amused smile as Virgil ran up behind him, scaring off most of the Pigeons. 

“Vee! You scared off the pigeons!” Thomas whined. The lady laughed at the little boy. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever heard someone sound so sad while saying that,” The lady chuckled. She grabbed a handful of seeds from a small paper bag and handed them to Thomas. 

“Just throw the seeds right over here and they will come back.” The lady instructed, gesturing to a spot on the sidewalk to the right of the bench. Thomas eagerly nodded his head and gently threw the seeds where the lady instructed. 

Just as she had predicted, a few moments after the seeds hit the ground, a flock of pigeons creep up towards the seed. Thomas watched in awe as the birds started pecking at the seed. That section of the sidewalk was quickly covered with Pigeons. As Thomas watched the pigeons Virgil turned to the woman sitting on the bench. 

“Sorry about that,” Virgil apologized. “We come from a pretty rural area, so he’s been really excited about pigeons ever since we got here.” He explained with a sheepish smile. 

“Oh, it’s not a problem. It’s nice to see a little kid who loves birds as much as I do. So you're new in town, huh? I’ve never seen you around before, when did you move here?” She asked. Virgil sent another glance to Thomas, who was still happily watching the birds, before answering. 

“We just moved here a couple days ago, but we live in the western part of the city.” Virgil told her. The lady nodded in understanding. It was common knowledge that the western part of the city was for the lower class, and anyone who comes from there was either low on money or already homeless. Which was exactly the case. 

“Well, if you ever need anything many of the local churches run food drives year round, however I think you have to be over 18 to pick anything up, so you can get your parents to do so if you aren’t over 18. But many of them run small community vegetable gardens you can take from,” The lady offered. Her eyes caught on Virgil’s guitar case. “But it looks like you might be interested in street performing, so I’d have to recommend Rising Sun Cafe. The owners are very nice and they might even let you play without a permit if you are kind to them.” The lady advised. 

“Thanks for the tips! It’s funny that you mention that, because I’m actually looking for that place right now.” Virgil said “Do you think you could give me directions on where to go from here?” The woman happily agreed and gave him directions. 

“Of course! Just keep walking down this street for another couple blocks, and then take a right onto Willow avenue, walk down there for a while and you should find it!” She explained.

“Awesome, thank you so much! Both for the directions, and for letting my brother feed the pigeons. I think you’ve made his day.” Virgil thanked the woman. He smiled at his brother who was now walking back towards them. “Thomas, can you say thank you to the nice lady for letting you feed the birds?” Virgil prompted. Thomas turned to the old lady and sent her a big smile before thanking her. 

“Thank you for letting me feed the birds, miss!” Thomas thanked the lady before taking Virgil’s hand. 

“Thank you once again, Miss. I hope you have a wonderful day!” Virgil said goodbye as he and Thomas moved to keep walking.

“Anytime dear! And same to you!” She called after them. 

Virgil and Thomas walked another 5 minutes or so down the road before they came to Willow street, where they turned right and walked another 10 minutes or so before seeing the sign for Rising Sun Cafe. The building was moderately small, but a bright hand painted sign drew in many customers. The letters were intricately painted in a Disney esc. Font, but instead of being one flat color they were painted in an array of bright colors. Mainly Yellows, blues, and greens, but you could see a few accent splotches of pinks, reds, purples and oranges. Other than the sign, the exterior of the building was made of red brick with a glass door on the far right of the building. It also had a long window that spanned across the left side of the building and stopped about a foot or two from the door. With the addition of bright flowers sitting inside a wooden garden box that spanned the length of the window. 

Through the window Virgil could see that the inside also had brick walls, but they were painted to be more of a muted creme than the original red of the bricks. There were a few wooden tables with about 4 chairs each scattered around most of the floorspace, minus the space by the window where there were two person tables. It all looked great, however there was one area in particular that caught Virgil’s interest. It was sat in the corner of the room on the same side as the window, so Virgil could barely see it, but it looked to be a small area with bean bag chairs and a bookshelf. After surveying the rest of the cafe, Virgil gave a firm nod and led Thomas to the door. After silently thanking the owners for putting a sign that says _push_ on the door, Virgil pushed open the door and walked over to the glass display counter Behind the counter was a middle aged man who wore a white apron over a tan sweater vest with a light pink turtleneck and dark grey jeans. The top right corner of his apron was covered with enamel pins from different cartoons, as well as a rainbow pride flag pin. He wore a nametag which informed Virgil that this was Emile Picani, one of the owners Janus had mentioned. 

Emile waved as the two boys walked over to the register. 

“Hi there! Welcome to Rising Sun Cafe, how may I help you?” He asked with a bright smile, but it didn’t seem like one of those fake customer service smiles. This one seemed to be genuine. Virgil quickly glanced at the menu before finding the cheapest option that would pass as an early lunch. 

“Can We get an egg and bacon sandwich on toasted white bread please?” Virgil requested.

“Of course! Will that be all?” 

“Vee!” Thomas tugged on Virgil’s hoodie sleeve. “Can we get a cookie too?” Thomas asked, giving Virgil puppy eyes. Virgil tried to hold strong, but eventually gave up and just ordered the cookie.

“And one sugar cookie apparently.” Virgil added on to the order. Emile chuckled at Thomas’ jump for joy when his brother agreed. 

“One egg and bacon sandwich and one sugar cookie coming right up! That will be $7.89.” Emile responded.

“Thank you,” Virgil thanked the man. “I actually had a question as well.” Virgil informed him while handing Emile a 10 dollar bill.

“And I might have an answer!” Emile teased as he handed Virgil the change. 

“Do you guys allow busking out in front of the cafe?” Virgil asked nervously. “I’ve heard that you guys allow people to play, but I wanted to make sure that it was alright with you.” 

“Thanks for checking with us! We do indeed allow and openly invite busking outside of the cafe! You can take one of the stools from the back corner of the shop and set up whenever you’d like!” Emile explained. “There is one group of guys that comes to play in the evenings, but they don’t come around until five, six o’clock ish, so as long as you’re done before they get here you should be all good! Of course if we ask you to leave, our word is rule, but we’ve only ever had to use that rule if someone was being really rude to customers, so as long as you are being respectful and follow common courtesy you’re golden!” 

“Awesome! Um, one last question.” Virgil asked. “Do you guys require licenses to play? I don’t have one and I’d rather be upfront about it than have it bite me in the butt later.” He admitted.

“Now that’s a mentality I can agree with.” A different voice came. “We don’t require licenses, but know that if the local authorities find you or get involved for any reason we can’t protect you. So as long as you claim ownership for your actions we’re all good.” 

The man that walked out of the kitchen had a dark tanned complexion and wore black sunglasses propped up in his similarly jet black curly hair. He wore a black leather jacket over a white shirt and apron along with a pair of dark gray jeans. The only pops of color came from a few pride pins on his jacket that labeled him as gay and asexual, along with a few pins with coffee cups on them. According to the nametag his name was Remy Picani, the other owner of the cafe if Virgil remembered correctly. He also had a patch sewn onto the jacket slightly above the pins that read ‘ _No coffee no workee_. The man Handed Virgil a paper bag with his order in it

“Well then, I promise to take full responsibility for all of my actions. Thanks for the food, it smells delicious!” Virgil complimented. 

“Anytime hun, now enjoy your meal and go make some music!” Remy said before landing a quick peck on Emiles cheek and stepping back into the kitchen. 

“Well, I hope you enjoy the food! And I can’t wait to hear you play, I know you’ll do awesome!” Emile encouraged him. Virgil thanked him once again before moving over to a table. Virgil took out a plastic knife from his backpack and cut the sandwich into four quarters, bagging two for later and giving one to Thomas before setting the second quarter in front of himself. 

Once they finished eating Virgil took a stool from the back and set up outside. He sat Thomas next to him with some crayons and one of his old school textbooks along with the cookie he had ordered. Once Thomas was all set up and he tuned his guitar, Virgil began to play. 

At first it was just fancy guitar tricks, as there weren’t many people, and he would rather save his breath for the afternoon rush. Taking deep breaths still kind of hurt, as he had to push against the bandages which were still wrapped around his torso, but he could still sing fine. He would just rather limit the pain to a minimum. A couple people threw in some change as he played, and one person put in about two dollars, but as the lunch rush came in and more people were walking by he decided it was time to just push through the pain and start singing. 

He started with something well known to get people’s attention, Believer by imagine dragons was the first one he sang. He attracted a few audience members, and a couple people coming in and out of the cafe tossed some extra change and a couple crumpled dollar bills into his case. Once he gathered a small crowd of people he decided to go for something a little softer, but powerful. Arms by Christina Perri. It was one of his favorite songs because he related to the words, it also reminded him of his mother in a way. So he moved his capo to the fourth fret and began playing.

“ _I never thought that you would be the one to hold my heart”_

He started singing. His voice was soft, but also firm as he used some cool fingerpicking of chords so he could use dramatic build up and then really hammer out the chords later on in the song. 

_“But you came around, and you knocked me off the ground from the start”_

_“You put your arms around me, and I believe that it’s easier for you to let me go.”_

_“You put your arms around me and I’m home.”_


	7. Reveal a bit of my soul to you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CHAPTER WARNINGS: Mentions of character death, flashbacks, minor anxiety attack,

**_Chapter 7: Reveal A Bit of My Soul To You_ **

  
  


Virgil held his little brothers’ hand as they took their daily walk to the coffee shop. Thomas skipped along happily beside him, practically buzzing with happiness. It was so contagious that Virgil almost cracked a smile. almost. but there were a couple more…. troubling issues floating through Virgil’s head at the moment. 

It had been a bit over a month since Virgil and Thomas had escaped to Chespeak, and Virgil had been playing outside the cafe almost every day since then. He also picked up some jobs on the side from people in the well off neighborhoods looking for babysitters or someone to do yard work. All in all things were going pretty well, but he couldn’t help being anxious about a certain task he had to complete that day. Today was the day that Virgil had to go pick up Thomas’s medication from the pharmacy, which wouldn’t have been a problem, except for one tiny issue: the pharmacy. 

The only place he could pick up the medication was from the pharmacy in their old town, as Virgil was under 18 and was only allowed to pick it up and pay in the first place because his mother had struck up a deal with a nice cashier when mom had first started working extra shifts. The deal had been that Virgil had to come at a specific time and date and come with a special mock ID badge that the lady had made for Virgil. When he showed his identification then he would be allowed to pick up and pay for the medication. It was technically illegal, but Mrs. Michelle had felt bad and had been kind enough to help in their time of need, and Virgil was ever grateful for her kindness. It stood as the only thing that allowed him to still provide Thomas’s medication. The problem however, was that he would have to take the bus back to their old town, and after the scare at the park, he couldn’t risk bringing Thomas back there. Not only had the boy had just come out of a bad flare up the other day, which meant that just an hour or so Thomas would probably be extremely tired and achy, no matter how energetic he is now, but it had only been a little under a month since Matthew and his gang had forced them to run away. Virgil didn’t want to know what would happen if they were caught in the area, but he wasn’t willing to subject Thomas to the beating and pain that would inevitably follow if they were caught. And even if they didn’t get caught, the trip would take around 3 hours total to get there, pick it up, and get back, and he didn’t want to put Thomas through that while he is still recovering.

That however did not leave many options. He couldn’t wait any longer, as he was about to run out of the medication, and going today was the only possible way due to the nature of the deal. He couldn’t just leave Thomas in their little shelter either; as much as Virgil wanted to believe that he had found a safe place where people couldn’t find them, he wasn’t willing to take that risk, and he didn’t have enough money to call in a babysitter or anything, so he stood in front of the cafe hoping for a miracle.  _ Here goes nothing, _ Virgil thought nervously before taking a deep breath and pushing open the door to the cafe. He scanned the store with wary eyes before leading Thomas over to a small area with books and couches. He sat his little brother down on one of the bean bag chairs and gave him his notebook and some crayons. The notebook was what he normally used for tracking money, but it would have to do for a sketchbook to keep Thomas entertained for a while. Once the boy was settled Virgil turned to face him and planted his hand softly on Thomas’s knee.

“Hey Thomas,” Virgil began. He continued once he saw his brother’s hazel eyes staring into his own. “I’m going to go talk to Mr. Emile and Mr. Remy for a minute, and I need you to stay here for now, okay?” The child gave a small nod of affirmation.

“What are you going to talk about?” Thomas questioned

“ I’m going to see if you can stay here and play while I go pick up your meds from the pharmacy, that way you don’t have to come with me. It is a long ride and I don’t want you to get too tired while we’re out there” Virgil explained softly. 

“I won’t get tired! Plus, I wanna say hi to Mrs. Michelle! She’s super fun and would always tell me about cartoons!” Thomas insisted, giving Virgil a pouty face that was almost too adorable to resist. 

“I know you’re not tired now ,Thomas, but we will be out and moving for 3 hours. Plus, it’s a lot of walking. You just came out of a flare up yesterday, and I don’t want you to get hurt by pushing yourself too hard. I promise you will be safe here. And I’m sure Mrs. Michelle will be sad that you aren’t there, but she will understand. She would want you to be safe and healthy. Maybe you can draw a picture for her while I talk to Mr. Remy and Mr. Emile, and I can give it to her when I see her! How does that sound?” Virgil reasoned. Thomas held up the put for another couple seconds before sighing and looking down at the notebook and crayons.

“Fine,” he huffed. “But I’m going to make her the best picture she has ever seen!” He stated with a new found confidence. Virgil gave a small huff of laughter. 

“I know you will bud, I’ll be right back.” Virgil told Thomas, ruffling his hair and pressing a quick kiss to his forehead which elicited a small giggle from the child. Thomas gave Virgil a beaming smile and Virgil couldn’t help but return it. Moments like these were why he kept going. He swore to himself that he would do anything to keep that precious smile in his life. With new determination Virgil shook himself and turned towards the front of the shop where he saw the Picani couple bantering happily over the counter.  _ Good. _ he thought as he walked towards the two men.  _ Them being in a good mood should up my chances of this working.  _

Emile was the first to notice him coming over, and waved to the teen from the other side of the counter as he approached.

“Hey Virgil, what can I do for ya?” The sweater clad man asked brightly. 

“H-hi Emile, um, I was actually wondering if I could ask a favor of you?” Virgil stuttered out, trying his best to keep some semblance of composure. 

“What is it honey?” Emile asked, a bit of concern leaking into his voice. “You look pretty nervous there, is everything alright?” The barista’s honey eyes began searching the young boy’s face 

“Y-yeah, everything’s alright, I’m just kind of nervous to ask this of you, as I’ve done nothing that would give you a reason to accept, but I need to ask this favor of you anyways.” Virgil took a deep breath before continuing, not daring to let his eyes drift to the two men now looking him over with confusion. “I-I was wondering if perhaps I could leave Thomas h-here for a couple hours?” He stuttered out, now letting the flood gates open as words tumbled out of his mouth like a raging river. “I-it’s just that I have this errand I need to run, but it’s in another town. A-and I would leave him here but I know he’s going to get tired before I’m done, a-and not to mention theotherkids! And IknowI’mprobablyaskingwaytomuchofyouI’msorryI’mwastingyourtime!-” 

Virgil was cut off by a steady hand landing on his shoulder. He inhaled sharply at the touch before slowly relaxing into it. 

“Whoa there bud, calm down. Easy does it.” Emile said softly, concern gleaming in his eyes. “Everything’s alright, you’re free to speak your mind here, you're safe.” He soothed, looking over at his husband. Virgil tried to calm his erratic breathing as Emile and Remy seemed to have a silent conversation with their eyes. After a small nod from Remy Emile turned back to Virgil. 

“We can look after him for a bit. We’ll keep him safe, but we need you to answer some questions first, okay? We need you to be honest with us.”

Virgil searched their faces for any sign of malintent or lies, but as he found none, he slowly nodded. Remy gave a small smile and put his own hand on Virgil’s shoulder.

“Alright babes, do you want to sit down? You’re shaking like a leaf.” Remy offered.

“Y-yeah. Th-that would be nice” Virgil breathed, following the man as he was guided to a nearby table. Virgil stole a quick glance at Thomas who was happily scribbling away in the notebook with some crayons Virgil had gotten him soon after settling down in this town.  _ Good, I’m glad he didn’t have to see that _ . Virgil breathed a small sigh of relief before turning back to the two men sitting in front of him. 

“S-so, what do you want to know?” Virgil asked nervously, his hands fidgeting in his lap. 

Emile was the first to speak. 

“Alright, how about we start with this: Why aren’t your parents watching Thomas if you have to go out?” 

“W-well,” Virgil hesitated. 

He couldn’t exactly tell the two that his parents were dead, as that would land them straight in foster care where he and his brother would be separated for sure, but he also didn’t want to lie to them completely. They were nice enough to help him, so he shouldn’t completely shut them out. So he decided to go for the excuse he used every time Mrs. Michelle asked where his mom was. It wasn’t the truth, but it was the next best thing. 

“Well, my mom works really long shifts, so she is unable to help watch him, we don’t have the money for a babysitter, and I don’t feel comfortable leaving him alone in the house for so long. That’s why he comes with me when I busk. He’s a really good kid, and is more than content to just sit there and draw while I play, no matter the weather.” Virgil chuckled as he thought back to the many times that Thomas had sat inside by the window where Virgil could keep an eye on him and showed his older brother his drawings through the glass. A small smile graced his lips at the memories. 

Remy and Emile shared a warm smile at seeing the boy talk so fondly of his little brother, but Remy’s smile fell flat as he realized something missing from the boy’s explanation. He hated to pry, but he felt as if there was something important about this part.

“What about your dad? Or your mother’s partner?” Remy asked hesitantly. 

“My-my father…” Virgil trailed off for a moment, his ever becoming foggy as his head delved down into memories he tried his best to keep hidden.  _ Dead gray eyes staring lifelessly at the floor as the man’s body hung from the ceiling. The guttural scream that left his moth- _ .  **_Nope_ ** . Virgil shook his head as if to forcibly shake the painful memories from his mind.  _ Not going down that road right now _ . Virgil took a deep breath before continuing, ignoring the looks of concern coming from the men across the table. Before he could continue a warm sturdy hand fell on top of his own. Drawing his attention to a pair of dark coffee brown eyes staring into his own. 

“You don’t have to answer that, I’m sorry, that was insensitive. I shouldn’t have asked that.” Remy apologized, using his thumb to rub small circles over the back of Virgil’ hand.

Usually Virgil would have taken that opportunity to go quiet, close himself off before anyone could get a look inside and see how broken he was, but something pushed him to open up to these men. So after years of silence he finally let the words leave his lips. 

“N-no, that's alright, it’s only fair that you know. H-he, um. My father is-” He paused, gathering his thoughts. “He’s no longer with us. He-he took his own life a couple years back. So it is just Thomas, my mother, and I.” Virgil finished, looking across the table to see the sadness that had taken over the expressions of the older men. Remy’s thumb kept rubbing comforting circles on the back of Virgil’s hand. It was kind of grounding, to be honest. It had been so long since he had felt the loving touch of an adult. Heck, it had been a couple months since he had any physical contact with people other than his brother, bar the unforgiving punches and kicks of Matthew and his gang. 

“I’m sorry Virgil, that’s horrible,” Emile said softly. “Just one more question and we’ll let you go, okay?” Virgil nodded his consent, and Emile carried on. 

“Where are you going, and when will you be back? Also, do you have a phone number we could contact you by? Just in case anything happens with Thomas?” 

“Y-yeah, I can give you my number,” Virgil says, scribbling it out on one of the napkins using a spare pen in his pocket. “As for where I’m going, I’m going two towns over to Valeria so I can pick up Thomas’s medication from the pharmacy. I know a pharmacist there and she helps us get it at a discounted price so we can afford it, and since I’m pretty new to the paperwork of it all she helps me. We recently moved to this town, and haven’t switched pharmacies, so I still have to go down there to get it. Thomas has Lupus, which means that it isn’t one of those times where you can just miss a couple doses and be fine, so I sadly can’t wait any longer to go. If I could, I would wait until Mom was able to look after him, but the medication is very important to Thomas’s health, so I need to make sure to pick it up on time.” Virgil explained. “I should be back in about three hours, and if I’m not then you have full permission to call me and question my whereabouts.” He added in hope that if Matthew and his gang found him he might have a chance of at least being found. Emile nodded and sent a glance over to Thomas, who was still happily coloring away by the books. 

“Alright, in that case: is there anything we need to know in terms of medical stuff then? Both Remy and I know basic CPR and such, but I don’t know much of anything about Lupus other than it makes people tired, and I think there was something about joint pain? Is there anything we should look out for that could mean trouble?” Emile asked. 

“There is nothing big you have to look out for or anything, It’s an autoimmune disease. As long as he is on his medication it just makes him tired and acts kind of like arthritis in terms of joint pain. He came out of a flare up just the other day, so he might be a little sore or tired, and he might just fall asleep while I’m out, but nothing too bad. I will leave some ibuprofen for if he is in a lot of pain or starts running a fever, but that would be pretty uncommon since he just came out of a flare up.” Virgil explained while digging the aforementioned bottle of painkillers out of his backpack and placing it on the table. “It’s the same dosage as normal, just one or two depending on the severity of pain or fever, but again, that is highly unlikely to be an issue.” 

Remy shared a quick look with Emile and then nodded before turning to face Virgil. 

“Alright then, sounds good to me. If that’s all then we will let you get on your way.” When Virgil nodded Remy gave his hand a firm squeeze before standing up and going back to the counter, taking the bottle of ibuprofen on a shelf by the back of the store after writing something on it with a sharpie. 

As Emile and Virgil stood up from the table, Emile quickly stepped towards Virgil and wrapped him in a strong hug. Virgil initially tensed at the contact, but soon found himself melting into the hug. He wanted to question how this man made him feel so safe, but instead he decided to just soak up every last bit of warmth and affection he could before it was over. It had been months since he had been hugged like this, and he wasn’t going to just let the opportunity to feel safe and loved slip by so easily. Emile rested his head on the smaller boy’s shoulder and gently rocked them back and forth, softly swaying side to side on his feet.

“If you ever need anything just let us know Virgil. You have so much weight on your shoulders that shouldn't be yours to carry. You are so brave, and I’m glad you came to us for help.” Emile praised him softly. Virgil felt his cheeks burn at the praise as he buried his head in Emile’s shoulder, trying to will away the tears that threatened to flood his vision at the pure love and sincerity in those words.  _ If you only knew the half of it _ , Virgil thought with a silent huff. He took a deep breath in order to keep the tears away, and silently basked in the sweet, homely smell of Emile’s sweater vest. It smelled like chilly fall mornings walking with mom to the park, the fresh smell of leaves and pine mixed with the warm scent of apple cider still hot in his hands. It’s comforting like the feeling of his Mom’s hand resting on the small of his back whale she hums a happy tune. It smelled like  _ home _ . Not some dingy alley or abandoned junkyard, not Cold, wet concrete, or the creaking wooden beams of an abandoned playscape, but  _ safe, warm, home.  _ Virgil took another moment to appreciate the feeling of safety he felt inside Emile’s arms before slowly pulling out of the embrace. He looked at Emile, trying to convey his gratitude through his smile and watery eyes, afraid that if he says anything he might break down and fall back into that perfect embrace. But he had a job to do. 

“ _ Thank you _ ” Virgil whispered, before wiping at his eyes and turning around to walk back over to Thomas. 

“Alright Thomas, I’m going to go pick up your meds and say hi to Mrs. Michelle now. I will be back in about three hours, but Emile and Remy are going to look after you alright? If you need anything you can let them know. They have some medicine to help if the hurting gets too bad, and if anything happens they will call me, alright?” Virgil explained softly. This gained an excited smile and an enthusiastic nod from Thomas. 

“Here is my drawing for Mrs. Michelle! I even did a little heart on the bottom corner so she knows that I miss her!” Thomas explained with a smile, handing Virgil a paper with a pink cat-like blob in the middle that Virgil just barely recognized as the pink lion from a show Mrs. Michelle had told them about at their last visit. Virgil just laughed and quickly shook his head.  _ This kid is too Damn precious for this world _ . He thought as he ruffled Thomas’ hair once again. 

“I’m sure she will love it Tommy, I have to go now, but I will see you soon, okay? I love you.” He said, pressing a kiss to the crown of the little boy’s head and then moving towards the door. “Be good Thomas!” He quickly told him before running out to try and make it to the bus stop on time.

_ Maybe, just maybe, things are going to be alright. _


	8. When It All Falls Down I'll Be Holding You Tight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CHAPTER WARNINGS: Tons of crying, financial issues

**_Chapter 8: When It All Falls Down I’ll Be Holding You Tight_ **

_ “ twenty…..forty….forty-five….fifty!”  _ Virgil counted under his breath. It was the week before thanksgiving and Virgil was packing up his bag and counting his earnings after a very successful day of busking outside the cafe.  _ Maybe with all these black Friday sales I will be able to pull together enough to get Thomas a new thick winter coat, he’s definitely going to need it. Mine is super big on him, but it will have to do until I can get him a new one since we had to leave behind his old one.  _ Virgil grimaced at the memories of that night at the park. Thomas’ winter coat had been left in hiding to save space in the backpack, and Virgil hadn’t had the time to grab it while they were trying to get away from Matthew and his gang. However, with the autumn air now upon them it was getting colder by the day, and he couldn’t risk Thomas getting sick. Last time that happened it ended up in a visit to the hospital, and there was no way he could afford hospital bills, not to mention the fact that they would be obligated to call their parents, neither of which were still there to answer any phone calls. Virgil was broken out of his thoughts by a cold gust of wind in the chilly air that penetrated the fabric of his hoodie.  _ Yeah, no. He DEFINITELY needs new winter clothes. I will have to give him my hoodie for now, but if it is already this cold then it is going to be one of the coldest winters in a while.  _ Virgil thought with a frown. He shivered again in the cold air, hustling to get his guitar back in its case and pull out his money tracking notebook. 

As he was counting up this month’s finances, he heard the cafe door open and close as well as two pairs of footsteps coming up behind him. Smiling as he recognized the bouncy step of his little brother. He turned around to see the little boy holding Emile’s hand and racing up to Virgil. Virgil opened his arms just in time for Thomas to jump into his embrace and pull him into an enthusiastic hug. 

“VeeVee!” Thomas called, snuggling closer into his brother’s arms. 

Emile gave a hearty laugh and smiled fondly at the brother’s antics. 

“ _ Brrrrr _ . It’s getting quite chilly out here, huh?” Emile observed, handing Virgil a steaming hot cup of hot chocolate. Virgil muttered his thanks, letting out a sigh of relief as the warm cup started to thaw his frozen fingers. They were stiff and cold after playing guitar for a couple hours, so the warm drink was a welcome reprieve. 

“Yeah, if it is already this cold, I don’t even want to  _ know  _ what the winter is going to look like” Virgil gave an involuntary shiver at the thought. He was going to have to find a more sheltered spot than the place he had set up camp in currently. Maybe he could find a shelter that was willing to take them in during the coldest weeks?  _ No, they’ll catch us for sure _ . Virgil quickly redirected his thoughts,  _ I’ll deal with that later _ . “But on the bright side with Black Friday coming up there will be tons of discounts on quality winter stuff if they stock it early! Speaking of which…” Virgil trailed off, looking down at his notebook. Emile watched with interest as the boy took his earnings and shoved them into his bag before using his free arm to drag over his notebook and start scribbling out numbers on the page. He was even more confused when he began doing out a complex string of equations that were strangely familiar. 

Emile’s interest suddenly turned to concern when he looked a little closer at the page to see everything that was listed out on the side of the page.  _ Coat for Thomas, meds, phone bill, food, water!? Great goodness, what is this boy doing calculating all these finances? He told us he is one of the main incomes of his family, but Is there anything he’s not paying for!?  _ Emile thought with dismay. This only fortified Emile’s hunch that Virgil might not be telling the full truth about his home life.  _ If he even has a home…  _ Emile thought bitterly. But as much as he hated to admit it, there was nothing he or Remy could do. Even if they got Virgil to admit it, the teen had obviously been doing everything in his power to avoid social services, and he couldn’t force them to do anything without putting them in more danger. And it’s not like they could  _ force _ the information out of them anyways. If Virgil did not give it, then they couldn’t take any action to solve it.  _ All I can do is give them what I can during work hours, and give them sanctuary during the day. Well, no point in dwelling on it. _ Emile shook his head before moving to place a hand on Virgil’s shoulders. 

“Well, how about you guys come inside for now? No point in waiting out in the cold when there are some comfy bean bag chairs calling your name!” Emile exclaimed, mustering up a big grin and fighting to keep the sadness off of his face.

“I guess you have a point there” Virgil laughed, although the shaking in his shoulders might have been partially from the cold.. 

“Yeah, come on Vee! Oh! Maybe you can read me one of the stories on the shelves since you finished early today!” Thomas exclaimed, practically vibrating with excitement. Virgil winced. As much as he would love to, he had to do a grocery run soon, and he really should be looking into some extra jobs…. 

“I don’t Know Tommy, we have to go to the store soon, and I have some other things to take care of as well..” Virgil tried to reason. 

“ _ Pleeeeease Vee?  _ Just  _ one _ story?” Thomas pleaded, mustering up the best puppy eyes he could give. Virgil tried to stay firm, but he didn’t think anybody could say no to that face. 

“ _ Fine _ , but just one book.” Virgil relented “ _ One _ ” He repeated, holding up a single finger for emphasis.

“YAY!” Thomas squealed with excitement, jumping out of Virgil’s lap and racing towards the door. “Imma pick one out!” 

Virgil gave a snort of laughter, “That kid’s going to be the death of me, I swear.” He muttered under his breath, an exasperated smile stuck on his face, but anyone could see the love and joy that filled the teen’s eyes. Virgil  shifted his gaze to his guitar case and finished packing up.

Emile watched the scene unfold with a fond smile, his heart warming at the love the brothers obviously shared. 

“He’s quite a handful, huh?” Emile commented, leaning down to help Virgil put his things in his bag. 

“He can be, but it honestly brings me so much joy to see him so happy and full of energy. Due to him being constantly in and out of flare ups, not to mention the fact that our mother is working all the time, he doesn’t get a lot of chances to be so….” He trailed off, trying to find the right word. “Normal, I guess. It’s nice to see him being able to look forward to the small things, like reading a book, or coloring, or having hot cocoa. He has been so brave through everything, and he deserves so much more than what I can give him. The boy hasn’t had a proper holiday for years; no big thanksgiving meal, no pile of Christmas presents waiting under the tree. I try to get him a cake and a small gift for his birthday, but that is about the most normal thing he has….” Virgil’s eyes grew misty with tears. His gaze clouded and unfocused, like he was searching for something he couldn’t quite find. 

“But he is so good all the time,” Virgil’s voice cracked with sorrow as he continued on, almost seeming to forget that Emile was there. It broke Emile’s heart to see how truly broken this kid was under the walls he always seemed to keep up. He looked more akin to a scared child then the protective adult he normally acted like. “He never complains when he doesn’t get gifts, he never fights taking his medicine or doing exercises, never throws a tantrum when he doesn’t get his way. He’s the best thing in my life, I couldn’t have ever asked for a better brother.  _ I don’t know what I did to deserve him. _ ” He whispered the last sentence as tears gathered in the corners of his eyes. 

Emile was on the verge of tears himself, his heart was crying out for this kid. He wanted so bad to be able to scoop him up and bring him home where he knew he was safe and loved, to fight off all the demons in his head, and prove to him that he is worth so much more than he knows. But knowing he couldn’t do that, he sighed, and settled for the next best thing. Emile slowly reached out his hand and placed it on Virgil’s shoulder, causing the teenager to tense up and sharply turn to face him. Emile saw a single tear fall down the boy’s face. 

“I-I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have ranted to you like that I’m s-” Virgil stammered, but he was swiftly cut off by a warm pair of arms enveloping him in a hug. Inside the embrace Virgil just felt  _ so warm,  _ and _ safe.  _ He couldn’t help but let out quiet sobs as he buried his face in Emile's shoulder. 

“Shhhh, it’s alright. That’s it, let it all out.” Emile soothed as Virgil trembled in his arms. His heart broke as he felt a wet spot growing on his shoulder. “Aww, baby. There you go, you’re doing great bud, let it out…” He cooed, rubbing small comforting circles on Virgil’s back as he let the boy cry. He swayed them gently back and forth in a comforting motion.

“I-It’s just so hard,” the boy hiccuped through sobs, “And y-you and R-Remy are so kind, and you have h-helped us s-so much. I-I don’t know how I could ever r-repay you for your kindness.” He finished as he clung tighter onto Emile, afraid that if he lets go it could all disappear and he would be on his own again. 

As Virgil clung tighter to Emile, the barista made a decision after sending a quick glance inside the cafe to Remy, who was helping Thomas pick out a book. 

“Well, I’m always happy to help anyone who needs it, and I hope you know that we will always be here for you and help you in any way you can, but I think I know a way that you can repay us.” Emile said softly, a small grin spreading on his face. Virgil raised his head to meet Emile’s eyes. He was equally curious and afraid at what the man might mean, but he had been nothing but kind to the boys in the past, so Virgil nodded and gestured for him to continue. 

“And what might that be?” Virgil asked curiously, searching the barista’s face for any clues as he scrubbed at the tear tracks on his face. 

Emile sent one more glance to Remy before facing Virgil once more, he took a deep breath before continuing. 

“Join us for thanksgiving.” Emile offered, watching intently as Virgil’s face morphed through a range of emotions.  _ Shock, excitement, fear,  _ before changing into something more vulnerable. Like a kitten looking up into the eyes of it’s rescuers after being saved from a bad storm. Wary, but hopeful. 

“Join you…. for thanksgiving?” Virgil repeated in a disbelieving tone. He wanted it to be real, he really did, but it was hard to believe that going over to someone’s house and sharing a meal with them was any sort of payment. But oh how he _wanted_ it to be real. _Please let this be real_. 

“Yup! We always have a nice dinner with some family and a couple friends, and we would be more than happy to have you at the table. It’s just for the evening, and we would love to have you there. You are part of the family now Virge.” Emile said lovingly, trying to convey the honesty of his words by looking Virgil right in the eyes.. “Ohana means family, and family means no one gets left behind.”Virgil gave a wet laugh as the quote. Only Emile could take a horrible situation and use Disney to make it better. “Now speaking of no one gets left behind, how about we go and read a book with that brother of yours.” Emile said with a grin, slowly unwrapping his arms from Virgil’s and standing before offering a hand to the shocked teen. 

There were so many emotions running through Virgil’s mind, he wasn’t sure if he wanted to laugh, cry, or both, but slowly a huge grin overtook his face as he nodded. 

“Let’s.” He breathed, taking the offered hand and gathering his guitar case and backpack. As they moved into the cafe, Virgil’s grin grew impossibly wider as he saw Thomas leaning on Remy as the spunky barista read him the story of Peter Pan. Emile’s heart softened at the scene, and he too grinned as he went to sit down next to his husband. When he sat down, he pressed a light kiss to Remy’s cheek. 

“Count on two more plates at the thanksgiving table next week.” He whispered with a grin. 

“Of course dear. I was wondering when you would finally end up inviting them. You held up longer than I thought you would.” Remy said with a smug grin. 

“Oh hush, you.” Emile pouted, digging his elbow into Remy's side. 

“You know you love me,” Remy teased

“You know I do.” Emile sighed with an exasperated fondness. 

“Oh just kiss and make up already,” Virgil gave them a mischievous grin from the other side of the nook. Both men went tomato red as Emile stared in shock, mouth agape. Remy repetitively opened and closed his mouth like a fish out of water. 

Virgil and Thomas both burst into laughter at the sight, as Emile buried his face in Remy’s shoulder.The boys continued giggling up a storm at the flustered couple. 

“What are we going to do with these two,” Remy sighed, shaking his head, but the smile on his face betrayed his annoyed facade. 

“I don’t know.” Emile laughed, smiling fondly at the people in front of him. He swore to himself that he would do everything he could to help these boys. They deserved the world, and he would do his best to supply. 


	9. A Night To Remember And A Wish To Forget

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CHAPTER WARNINGS: reference to character death,
> 
> nothing else! Tons of fluff and cuddles in this chapter!

**_Chapter 9: A Night To Remember And A Wish To Forget_ **

Virgil took a deep breath as he stood with Thomas outside a quaint house in a nice neighborhood. Virgil quickly double checked the address Emile had given him. The house itself was very nice, you could tell why the couple bought it. It suited them perfectly. A warm beige color painted the walls of a small two story house. The warm glow of a fireplace was visible from the windows in the evening shadows, and you could see a trail of white smoke coming out of a chimney atop the house. A white wooden awning came out of the front wall which sheltered a small porch with railing, which also painted white to match the awning. Two wicker rocking chairs sat to the left of the door, along with several flowers and other assorted plants in terracotta pots and flower boxes decorating the edge of the railings. All that sat on a perfect green lawn with a few trees, many flower beds filled with herbs, flowers, and even some pea plants.  _ Damn, _ he thought.  _ This place really is perfect, am I sure I’m not dreaming? _ He thought. Virgil pinched himself just to make sure.  _ Ouch, yup. I’m awake. _

Virgil smiled as he walked with Thomas to the door. He looked down and see a doormat that could not have been more fitting for Remy. It was a simple brown mat with fancy black lettering that read  _ ‘I hope you brought Coffee _ ’. Virgil chuckled at the thought of Remy opening the door and demanding coffee of some poor kid selling cookies or something. That man  _ always  _ had a coffee. It was rare to see him without one. 

“Alright, you ready Thomas?” Virgil asked, turning his attention to the little boy at his side who was clinging to his leg, he also seemed to be processing the fact that people could live somewhere so nice. After all, even when their dad was alive and working, they had never had great living situations. However, at this point, the kid would probably be enamored with anything more than an alleyway. Virgil watched him for a couple seconds before tapping him on the shoulder, seemingly snapping Thomas out of his daze. 

“You ready to go in?” Virgil repeated, grinning in amusement as his brother nodded vigorously. The little boy was trembling with excitement. Although he acted more subdued, Virgil was also overwhelmingly grateful and excited. Not only would he be able to supply Thomas with a full meal, but he would be able to enjoy it with people who cared about him and his brother. He could not think of a better way to spend the evening. 

“Let’s go then.” Virgil said with a smile, before stepping up to the door and knocking three times. He heard a couple voices from inside as he waited outside the door. Just as he was about to knock again, the door flew open to reveal a slightly frazzled Emile, who’s face broke out into a grin at the sight of the two boys. 

“Come on in, I’m glad you two could make it! Come into the living room, Remy is finishing up the food in the kitchen.” Emile explained happily while leading the boys to the living room. “You can leave your bag and your guitar here by the door.” 

Virgil blushed and grin sheepishly at the mention of the bag and guitar case still on his back. 

“Thank you so much Emile, I’m sorry I brought it, I just came here from an extra job, so I didn't have time to drop it off at home.” Virgil explained. It wasn’t  _ completely  _ a lie. Virgil  _ had _ done some babysitting earlier that day; some parents had some last minute shopping to do and didn’t want to bring their four kids along. Not that Virgil was complaining, it helped him make an extra buck here and there, and it also allowed Virgil to use their bathroom to clean up Thomas and himself. Not a shower, but he was able to use warm water and a cloth to clean off the worst of the filth that came from sleeping in the junkyard.

“It’s not a problem Virge, you could even play something later if you want,” Emile suggested “It’s just us, my parents, and a couple friends of ours, and I’m sure they’d love to hear you play.” He finished with a smile.

“Maybe,” Virgil agreed. He loved playing, and it would give him a chance to make a good impression in case he messed anything else up. 

He deposited his bags and held Thomas’ hand as the two boys were led to the living room. It was a cozy looking area with a couch and a loveseat positioned around a rug in front of the fireplace. The brick fireplace went beautifully with the beige colored walls that were only slightly lighter than the outside color of the house. The walls were covered with pictures and paintings as well as a wall hanging or two. The room was filled with laughter, and the smiles from the people inside seemed to be contagious as Virgil let his shoulders drop into a more relaxed position. It was pretty much impossible not to relax with such a calming atmosphere. The smells of fresh turkey and an array of other mouthwatering dishes wafted into the room from the kitchen, and the warmth from the fireplace filled the air.

Thomas was similarly enamored with the place as Virgil saw his brother’s eyes soak in every last inch of the room. Thomas’s gaze however, was suddenly stuck on one spot in particular. Curled up on a small woven rug in front of the fireplace, lay a russet brown tabby cat with a white muzzle and a single white paw. Slowly, Thomas let go of Virgil’s hand and crept towards the cat, which had opened one eye to look calmly at the approaching child. When Thomas reached the cat, he timidly stretched out a hand towards the cat, to allow the cat to sniff him. The tabby lazily unfurled himself and stood up, before tentatively stretching his head to sniff the hand. Thomas watched in awe as the cat nuzzled up to his hand and began emitting a strong purring sound. Virgil watched in amusement as Thomas squealed and moved closer to the cat, which had now draped itself across Thomas’ lap. Thomas was giving off a thousand watt smile as Remy came out of the kitchen and leaned against the door frame between the two rooms. 

“I guess Lino has taken a liking to you, huh?” Remy observed, watching with amusement as Thomas tried out the name on his tongue. 

“Lino…” Thomas repeated, grinning down at the cat. “I like you Lino.” Lino in return purred loudly and rubbed her head against Thomas’s hand. 

Thomas giggled and continued stroking the cat, as an  _ awww _ could be heard from across the room. Virgil located the voice to a man who looked to be in his mid-thirties or so, sitting next to another man that looked around the same age.  _ Husbands _ , Virgil deduced by looking down at their entwined hands to see a matching set of rings. 

The man who made the noise had a rounded face set with a loving smile, tons of freckles, and warm hazel eyes slightly obscured by a pair of thick framed round glasses. He wore a grey cardigan wrapped around his shoulders, styled similarly to that of a child who was using a blanket as a superhero cape. He wore a plain short sleeve light blue polo and tan khakis. Finally, sat on his ring finger was a silver ring with something written in a loopy cursive on it. Next to him sat a second man, who seemed slightly taller and thinner. He sat straighter than his partner, although he was still slightly leaned back and his left arm was wrapped lovingly around the other’s torso. He wore a black polo and a blue tie, along with a pair of dark grey slacks. He also wore glasses, although his were much more square than his partner’s. His face was sharper than the first man’s, and his blue eyes were a bit more cold and analytical. However, you could see the amount of love and compassion they held when he looked fondly at his partner, and gently caressed the other man’s hand. They looked vaguely familiar to Virgil, but he didn’t have much time to ponder it before the bubbly young man spoke again. 

“Who’s this cutie Emile?” He asked, turning to loveseat where Emile was now sitting. Emile chuckled at the man’s excitement before standing up and gesturing to Thomas, who was still happily playing with the cat. 

“Everyone, this is Thomas and his older brother Virgil.” He continued, gesturing towards virgil, who gave a small wave as he awkwardly leaned against the wall on the far side of the room. “They are friends from the Coffee shop. Virgil busks outside most days, and he brings Thomas with him. Thomas mostly stays inside and colors, while Virgil plays, but they are both amazing kids, and I think you will all get along well. Patton, try not to go full dad mode on Thomas or Virgil might bite your head off” Emile finished, which earned a squeal of horror out of the man on the couch and a death glare from Virgil who was now bright red at the reminder of that particular interaction.

It was back when they had first met Emile and Remy when Thomas had accidentally fallen outside of the cafe and scraped his knee. When Remy offered to help, Virgil, being the overprotective mother bear that he is, outright refused to allow the man to help and instead pulled out his own first aid kit, completely ignoring Remy, who was ranting behind him about ungrateful children. To this, Virgil snarkily responded, ' well sorry for not trusting strange men who offer you help on the side of the road’. Definitely not one of Virgil’s finest moments. But to be fair,  _ Patton _ wasn’t some weird guy on the streets, Patton was Emile’s friend, so Virgil trusted him for the most part. 

“Well, I’ll try my best.” The man said with a sheepish grin, “It’s nice to meet you Virgil and Thomas! I’m Patton, and this is my amazing husband, Logan.” He leaned even more into the other man, who smiled and rolled his eyes at his partner’s antics. 

“Salutations, as Patton said, I’m Logan. It’s nice to meet you both. I have heard you perform before Virgil, and I must say that I am quite impressed by your musical abilities.” Logan complimented. Virgil blushed at the praise, anxiously twirling a lock of black hair around his finger. 

“U-uh, thanks. It’s n-nice to meet you as well.” Virgil responded. 

“Oh!” Patton’s eyes shined with recognition. “I’ve seen you as well! I usually got there just as you were ending the last song, but from what I’ve heard you are pretty good!” Patton shared excitedly. 

“Thanks, I love performing. I don’t know if I would choose to continue doing it as a full time job, though. But it does pay pretty well most days.” Virgil reflected. 

“Then what  _ would _ you choose to do full time if you could pick?” Logan inquired 

Virgil shrugged, “I don’t know, maybe a freelance artist? I enjoy painting, and did a few art workshops hosted by the local community college teachers a while back, and I really enjoyed those. There was one class in particular I took for fun that was about painting stage backdrops and murals that I found particularly interesting, although I’m much better at smaller scale drawings.” 

“All your art is good Vee! remember when you painted a pond on the library wall? that was super good!” Thomas interjected. 

“Thanks, Thomas. That one was super fun to do, and all the little kids loved it. I was so happy when the library asked me to do it.” Virgil said fondly, flipping through the memories of spending long hours painting in his head. 

“That is awesome Virgil! That’s funny, the library in our town also has a mural of a pond in the kids section. I think our son Roman knew the guy who painted it, but they lost touch when the kid moved away or something.” Patton explained

As it finally struck him who these men were, he was suddenly  _ very _ grateful that he only signed the painting with a V. These men were the fathers of Roman sanders.  _ The _ Roman Sanders. The same Roman Sanders, who despite being one of the most popular guys in the school, refused to join Matthew and his gang, and instead tried to talk to Virgil. Virgil, who was more commonly referred to as Matthew’s punching bag than his real name. But for some reason, even after being called every homophobic slur in the book, just because he even  _ tried _ to hang out with Virgil, he still kept coming back. He tried so hard to be friends with Virgil, and no matter how many times Virgil pushed him away, he always came back. And somehow, with that dramatic flair and confident and goofy smile, he managed to wiggle his way through Virgil’s defenses and earn himself a place by the emo’s side. 

Virgil and Roman were very close for a while, but as things at home went downhill, Virgil found himself pulling more and more away from everything other than his work and his brother. He would always convince himself that it was for the best, because Roman didn’t deserve to be burdened by his issues. Finally, when he was forced to leave town without a word of goodbye, he lost touch with Roman. At the time, Virgil hadn’t had a phone, so although he had Roman’s number, there was no way of contacting him.  _ Not like I would know what to say if I did _ , He thought bitterly. 

After a moment of silence in the room, Virgil was pulled out of his thoughts by an older looking lady poking her head out from the kitchen to announce that dinner was ready. They all swiftly got up to move into the kitchen. Virgil walked over to Thomas, who gave Lino one last scratch behind the ear before standing up and taking Virgil’s hand. Virgil smiled fondly at Thomas before following the crowd into the kitchen where Virgil found his seat and helped Thomas into the empty seat next to him. The table was covered in an array of amazing looking dishes. From stuffed Turkey to salad and homemade bread. Virgil could also smell fresh apple pie baking in the oven. Virgil stared at it all in shock, eyes wide and mouth agape at the pure amount of  _ food _ in front of him.

“Well, it looks like Virgil might actually fall into a food coma from just looking at this wonderful feast, but I think I might actually want to eat it.” Remy joked, earning a large bout of laughter from everyone around the table, and effectively embarrassing Virgil, whose face was now a bright red. 

“S-sorry, I just don’t think I’ve ever seen so much food in one place before.” Virgil admitted with a sheepish grin. 

“Welcome to the family hun, we never do anything in half measures,” The older lady from the kitchen exclaimed with a satisfied grin on her face. “I’m Shelby, Emile’s mom, but you can call me Mrs. P if you’d like.” The lady introduced herself “This is my husband Jack,” She gestured towards the man sitting beside her, who looked to be a similar age, maybe in his 60s or so? The man gave a small wave. 

“You can call me Jack, or if it makes you more comfortable you can call me Mr. Picani. but I’m not super picky.” He offered. 

“And last, but definitely not least, this is my friend, and self proclaimed sister, Valerie!” Emile said, gesturing to a tall Latina woman who sat tall and proud opposite of Virgil at the table. She had long silky brown hair that flowed down her shoulders. And wore a flowy red dress, and her face was set with a confident smile.

“Hi there, I am Emile’s friend and acted as his step-in older sister throughout his school years.” Valerie introduced herself dramatically. “It’s nice to meet you two!”

“The pleasure’s all mine” Virgil replied with a smile. 

“Alright, now that introductions are out of the way, how about we get to saying what we are thankful for so we can start eating?” Remy suggested

“Sounds good to me!” Patton agreed. All the others gave their forms of agreement as they began the tradition. Emile was the first to go.

“I’m thankful for a warm house full of the people I love, I’m thankful for the wonderful feast here tonight, and even more thankful for the wonderful husband who made it.” Emile listed, pressing a kiss to Remy’s cheek. 

“I’m thankful for my cartoon nerd of a husband, my coffee,” Everyone giggled at that one. “And most importantly, I’m thankful for a family who accepted me as their own, even when my own family didn’t” Remy gave a sad smile before turning to face Thomas, “How about you, Thomas? what are you thankful for?” Remy asked. 

“Well,” Thomas paused for a moment in thought. “I’m thankful for my brother, who is always working to make sure that we can get everything we need. I’m thankful for Mrs. Michelle, who helps us get my medicine and tells me all about cartoons, and I’m thankful for all of you guys for inviting us here and always being super nice!” Thomas finished with a big smile. All the adults look at the child with a sense of awe. Virgil felt tears bloom in the corners of his eyes as he looked down at Thomas.  _ I truly have the best brother ever _ , he thought with a smile. 

“I’m very thankful for you as well, Thomas.” Virgil said lovingly while gently wrapping his little brother in a hug. “I’m thankful for you being as patient and amazing as you are, and I’m thankful for the food in front of us today. But I’m even more thankful for the fact that I get the privilege of being able to share it with people who have shown us so much kindness and love despite gaining nothing in return.” He shot a grateful glance to Emile and Remy, who both smiled back at him. “Every day I get to spend with my family is a gift, whether it is chosen or bound by blood. And I am thankful that I get to spend this time with them inside a warm house with food and laughter alike.” Virgil finished. He looked up to see teary and smiling faces all around. Remy and Emile in particular look like one of them might start crying, but the smiles on their faces told how truly grateful they were to hear those words. 

“We love you to Virge,” Emile assured him. “And we are so thankful that we got to meet you and get to know you. You really are a great kid.” He finished with a big smile as he wiped his sleeve over his eyes.

“Alright, this is the sweetest thing I’ve ever seen, but let’s keep going before someone starts bawling their eyes out.” Valerie interjected, earning a laugh from everyone at the table. 

Everyone finished listing what they were thankful for, and soon everyone was digging into the delicious meal on the table. Virgil and Thomas savored every bite of the delectable feast and Virgil admittedly almost cried at how amazing the hot meal was. He was always making sure that Thomas had enough food, and in doing so he often skipped out on eating much of anything for days at a time other than the leftovers that Emile offered them at the cafe. Once everyone was done eating they moved to the living room where Virgil made sure Thomas took his meds and then they settled down on the couch. 

As the night went on. Virgil only became more and more thankful that he was given the gift of being able to spend time with these amazing people. He was given the chance to laugh and share stories with them, play songs and perform for them, it was like making up for all the family bonding time he was never able to have with his own parents. His favorite thing of all, was the cuddle pile that they all formed when they sat down to watch a movie. Emile’s parents settled on one side of the couch, while Valerie positioned herself on the other half. Logan and Patton took up residence on the floor in front of the armchair, which they had moved to better be able to view the TV, and Patton was practically sitting in Logan’s lap. 

But Virgil’s favorite place of all was right where he was nestled, right in between Remy and Emile with Thomas curled up on his lap. At some point in the movie, Virgil had begun leaning into Emile, who now had an arm wrapped around Virgil and was rubbing circles on Virgil’s arm with his thumb. Remy had also begun silently carding his hand through Virgil’s hair. Virgil didn’t mean to fall asleep, he swears he didn’t. It was just so warm, and his stomach was full for the first time in months, and he was being held so securely. He just felt so  _ safe _ . He was  _ safe _ , and  _ loved _ , and for the first time since their mother died, Virgil allowed himself to let his guard down, and fall asleep without a second thought. 

_ And  _ **_boy_ ** _ did it feel nice. _


	10. A Wake Up Call In More Ways Than One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CHAPTER WARNINGS: Panic Attack, reference to death,

**_Chapter 10: A Wake up Call In More Ways Than One_ **

_ Virgil slowly woke up to the feeling of something cozy wrapped around him. A soft blanket seemed to cocoon him in a comfortable warmth as he heard distant humming from the kitchen along with the clink of pots and pans.  _

_ Hold up. What?  _ Virgil didn’t have a blanket this soft,  _ is that a pillow under my head!? Wait… Thomas!!  _ Virgil shot up, throwing the blanket off of himself and frantically looking around the room. He didn’t recognize where he was. Virgil’s mind started racing as he felt himself hyperventilating.  _ Was I kidnapped, did Matthew find us? Did he take Thomas!?  _

“ _ Woah! Calm down there Virge! _ ” It took Virgil a moment to recognize the voice, but once he did, he felt even more confused.  _ Remy? Why is Remy here? Did he get kidnapped too? Did I cause this!?  _ Virgil wanted to move, to look towards the voice, but it was like he was frozen, he couldn’t move.  _ Why can’t I move!? _

_ “Vee? _ ” Virgil didn’t even hear his brother’s voice through his panic. Thomas just stood there as he watched his brother, who was shaking like a leaf standing up near the couch. “Remy!? What’s wrong with Vee!?” 

“It’s alright Thomas, I think Virgil is having a Panic attack. They can be scary, but Emile and I know what to do. He might not know where he is, so I need you to stay here while I help him, okay?” Remy said calmly before slowly walking across the room and standing directly in front of Virgil. 

“Virgil, it’s me, Remy Picani. You are in our house, and you are safe. Thomas is safe too, he came into the kitchen to help me with breakfast, and he is waiting in the other room for you once you are calm.” Remy watched as Virgil’s clouded gaze seemed to flash with recognition. His eyes seemed to be more focused, but he was still hyperventilating. “Alright Virgil, I need you to breathe with me. I’m going to put your hand on my chest so you can match my breathing, alright?” Remy slowly took Virgil’s shaking hand and guided it to his own chest. He took a deep breath, moving his chest dramatically, and instructed Virgil to copy him. “There you go, that’s good Virgil. You’re doing great. There you go.” Remy praised. 

It took a few minutes before Virgil’s breathing returned to normal, but eventually the frantic gulping of air quieted to a more steady pattern. In this Time Emile had come into the kitchen and found Thomas staring with wide eyes into the living room. Upon seeing Remy leading Virgil through breathing exercises Emile understood what had happened and sat Thomas down at the table before getting a glass of cold water. Emile walked into the living room just in time to see Virgil’s knees buckle underneath him. Luckily, Remy was right there to catch him and place him slowly on the couch. Emile walked over and sat next to Virgil before slowly placing his hand on Virgil’s knee. 

“Hey Vee, how are you feeling?” Emile quietly inquired, holding out the glass of water. Virgil gratefully took the glass and held it in his shaking hands before taking a slow sip and looking towards Emile and Remy. 

“I-I’m alright. Sorry about that.” Virgil apologized. “I didn’t know where I was, and I thought that something bad might have happened, and I freaked out. Sorry for causing a scene.” Virgil bowed his head in shame.

“Oh, honey..” Emile sighed sadly. “It’s okay, we’re not mad at you Virgil. Panic attacks are no fun, and we would never blame you or anyone else for having one. You didn’t recognize where you were and you couldn't see your brother, it’s completely reasonable for you to be freaked out. I don’t think anyone would _choose_ to have a panic attack.” Emile soothed.

“Yeah, Like Em said, it’s not your fault, and we know how to deal with them.” Remy reassured Virgil. “Trust me, I’ve had them before, and I know how much they suck. We would  _ never _ be mad at you for having one. Now, can I call Thomas over? He was a bit freaked out, but I’m sure he will be better once he realizes that you are okay now.” Virgil’s eyes grew wide at the mention of his brother.  _ Crap, Thomas saw that!? _ . He quickly nodded. 

“You can come in now Thomas, we’re on the couch!” Emile called into the kitchen. His call was met immediately with the sound of rapid footfall as Thomas ran into the room and launched himself into Virgil’s arms. 

“ _ Vee! _ ” Thomas cried as he clung to Virgil’s chest. 

“Shhh, it’s alright Thomas, I’m here, I’m alright.” Virgil comforted, wrapping his arms securely around Thomas who was trembling in his lap. 

“I thought I was gonna lose you Vee, I can’t lose you!!” Thomas sobbed. “ You were shaking, and you didn’t hear me when I called. _I thought you were…._ It was so scary Vee!!” Virgil just pulled Thomas closer to his chest and gently rocked him back and forth. 

“I know it was scary Tommy. I know it was, and I’m sorry you had to see that, but you were so brave. You were so brave Thomas, you stayed still and let Remy help. That was the best thing to do in the moment. You were so brave.” Virgil softly praised. Virgil just held Thomas while he cried, whispering sweet nothings into his brother’s ear as he ran a hand through Thomas’s hair and pressed soft kisses to his temple. After a couple minutes Thomas had stopped sobbing and now lay exhausted in Virgil’s arms quietly sniffling. 

“Do you want some water?” Virgil asked quietly. Thomas just tiredly shook his head and buried himself further into Virgil’s shirt. Virgil chuckled at his brother’s sleepy rejection and continued running his hand through Thomas’ hair. “That’s alright bud, you must be pretty tired now. I just need you to eat something so you can take your morning meds and then you can take a nap while we’re walking. Alright?” Thomas just gave a sleepy groan before attempting to bury himself further into Virgil’s shirt. 

“Well then I guess you're going to miss out on pancakes,” Remy said before giving a dramatic sigh. “And what a shame, I was going to make them with chocolate chips! to-” Remy was cut off by Thomas quickly pulling himself into a sitting position in Virgil’s lap. 

“I’m awake!” Thomas exclaimed rapidly. 

“That’s the spirit! Now come on, I’ll carry you to the kitchen and you can help me finish up breakfast.” Remy explained enthusiastically before scooping Thomas out of Virgil’s lap and walking back into the kitchen. Emile shot Remy a grateful look before turning back to Virgil, who was smiling at his brother’s enthusiasm. 

“How are you really feeling Virge? And no lying to stop us from worrying.” Emile chided. Virgil laughed. 

“I’m alright, seriously,” Virgil reassured him. “I’m a little bit worn out, but now that I know that everyone is safe, I’m all good. Also, sorry for falling asleep here last night. You could have just woken me up, I don’t want to intrude.” 

“Nonsense, you are never intruding here Virgil, you are always welcome. Plus, you just looked so peaceful, and the bags under your eyes show that you don’t sleep nearly enough. I didn’t want to wake you.” Emile explained. 

Virgil grinned sheepishly at the mention of the dark bags he knew were a constant under his eyes. Having to stay vigilant at night meant that he never got much sleep, and the little sleep he  _ did  _ get was either plagued by nightmares and flashbacks or dreamless and induced by extreme exhaustion, usually because he’s barely slept in days. 

“Well, thanks anyways.” Virgil thanked Emile once again. Emile just smiled at Virgil.

“No problem, do you want to catch a ride with Remy and I to the cafe after breakfast? You’re more than welcome to tag along, and since you're already here it will save you the walk. Plus it means that Thomas can sleep in the car while we drive, that way you don’t have to carry him.” Emile explained, trying his best to convince the obviously exhausted teen. Virgil smiled, but shook his head and politely declined.

“Thanks for the offer, but I don’t think I’ll be able to stop by the cafe today. I need to go shopping for some groceries and a winter coat for Thomas, which will probably take a while, and then I have a gig at the library about street performing. I was going to go Friday to catch the good deals for black Friday, but I got an offer to babysit a couple kids from a family that always pays well, and with the holidays coming up I’m going to need all the extra jobs I can get.” Virgil explained. 

“Oh, that’s alright! I need to send Remy to the store to pick up some groceries anyways, you can ride with him after he drops me off at the cafe. Today shouldn’t be busy, so I could even watch Thomas while you guys shop if you want.” Emile offered.

“If it’s not a problem, then that sounds great! Although I think I’ll take Thomas with me, I want to make sure that I don’t mess up the coat size. But knowing Thomas he will probably knock out the moment he gets into the car, and I doubt he’ll wake up for another couple hours, so I’ll just take care of the groceries first.” 

“Not a problem at all, I’ll go tell Remy! It smells like breakfast is almost ready anyways. Want to help me set up the table?” Emile asked, holding out a hand to Virgil, who gratefully accepted. Virgil wobbled a little when he first got up, but after a second he was fine and they walked to the kitchen. 

The four of them enjoyed a delicious breakfast of chocolate chip pancakes and fruit before getting ready to head out. Virgil made sure Thomas took his medicine before explaining the day's plans and grabbing their bag and his guitar case. Emile also made sure to sneak a few containers of leftovers from dinner into Virgil’s bag while he wasn’t looking. Feeling accomplished, Emile took one last look around the house before grabbing his own bag and following the others out to the car. 

After Remy had dropped Emile off at work the three boys headed off towards the local walmart to get groceries. As predicted by Virgil, Thomas lay fast asleep as Remy continued to drive to the store. 

“So, are you going to get yourself a coat too? I don’t think that hoodie will work very well in the cold, despite how insistent you are on the fact that you’re not cold in it.” Remy questioned. 

“Nah, it works pretty well.” Virgil deflected the question. “Plus, I don’t get cold easily. I’m used to cold temperatures, so this works just fine for me.” 

“Don’ lie Vee” Thomas muttered sleepily from his seat. “I know you get cold, you need to be safe too.” 

“See, even the kid agrees.” Remy said. Virgil huffed and muttered something about double teaming not being a fair tactic. Remy just laughed. 

“Fine, if there is enough money, and I can find a cheap coat, I will get it. But your coat takes priority because we can’t afford to let you get sick.” Virgil caved. 

“We both know that you won’t actually hold yourself to that, but I’ll let it slide anyways. However, if I find you outside in below freezing weather without a proper coat I will  _ literally  _ force you into one of our coats. I’m not letting you die of hypothermia outside the cafe.” Remy stated, and the sad part is that he wasn’t even joking. Virgil knew full well that this man would in fact  _ literally  _ use brute force to put a coat on him. Virgil just glared defensively at Remy.

“I’m not going to die of hypothermia.” Virgil argued, 

“Not on my watch at least.” Remy replied, smirking at the grumbling teenager in the back of the car as he pulled into the parking lot. 

“Alright, we’re here now. Wanna meet back here in 2 hours or so? That should give us plenty of time to do shopping, and if you don’t find a decent coat here we can go to the mall that’s a couple minutes up the road,” Remy proposed.

“Yup, sounds good to me.” Virgil agreed. Virgil went to unbuckle Thomas before pulling the little boy into his arms and exiting the car. Virgil had a very successful shopping trip, he was able to use a mix of coupons and good deals to get the month’s groceries for only 20 dollars, which left 30 dollars to find a nice coat for Thomas. 

Thomas had stayed asleep in Virgil’s arms for pretty much the entire time, and Virgil felt kind of bad waking him up, so he was glad when he found a thick red winter coat with fur lining the hood that he just  _ knew _ Thomas would love. Virgil tested the size by gently laying it over the boy, who immediately tried to wrap the coat around himself in his sleep. Virgil laughed as Thomas sleepily whined. 

“ _ Iss warm, I wan’ the warrmm.”  _ Thomas whined, his words were slurred, but it was obvious he wanted the coat, which Virgil took as a good sign and once he confirmed that it was the perfect price he gently placed it back on Thomas. When the coat was placed over his back Thomas immediately curled it around himself and let out a content sigh. Virgil just laughed once again at how adorable his brother was before heading to the checkouts. 

When it was his turn, he placed the basket down on the belt and quietly greeted the cashier before trying to pull the coat off of Thomas, who wined in his sleep and struggled to hold on to the coat. The young lady at the cashier gave a warm smile when Virgil handed her the coat after wrangling a half asleep Thomas for it. 

“He’s quite the cutie, huh?” The cashier complimented. 

“Yeah, he’s pretty adorable. Especially when he’s half asleep like this. I swear, he could probably sleep through an explosion and not wake up.” Virgil replied jokingly. The cashier laughed at the exasperated fondness in Virgil’s voice. 

“I envy his ability to sleep, I run on coffee and sarcasm.” The young lady joked.

“That’s a mood. But like, I feel you.” Both of them laughed as the cashier finished scanning his items and bagged them up. 

Virgil exchanged the bag for his cash and waved goodbye as he walked out into the parking lot with his bag of groceries in hand. Virgil found his way back to the car and saw that Remy was already waiting for him. 

“Hey Virge, you got everything?” Remy checked, raising an eyebrow when Virgil held up a single bag of groceries. 

“Yup! Got everything I need.” Virgil confirmed. 

“Are you sure that’s  _ everything? _ ” Remy asked suspiciously. “I see two boxes of cereal, some lunch meat, a loaf of bread, and a  _ single  _ coat. I’m starting to think I should have forced you to eat more last night. That cannot be enough for a month” 

“Nope I got everything. And I ate  _ more  _ than enough last night, I practically fell into a food coma when we sat down. I don’t think I am ready to eat that much  _ ever  _ again.” 

Remy chuckled at the boy’s dramatics before opening the car door for Virgil. 

“Yeah, yeah. Alright drama queen, no force feeding. But I am still going to force you into a coat if you are outside in just the hoodie when it’s below 32 degrees fahrenheit.” Remy said, sending a mischievous smile to Virgil, who was now sitting in the passenger's seat with Thomas safely in his lap. Virgil just rolled his eyes, but gave an amused smile nonetheless. 

“Sure you will. Can you drop me off at the library? I’m doing a gig there in a couple hours and it will be easier than having to walk from the cafe.” Virgil requested. 

“Sure thing hun. to the library, and beyond!” Remy exclaimed with all his usual dramatic flare. 

“You’re such a disney Nerd.” Virgil teased. 

“You know it babes.” Remy replied with a wink.

_ I wouldn’t have it any other way.  _


	11. All Good Things Must Come To An End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CHAPTER WARNINGS: Police, fever, brief mention of vomiting (Nothing to descriptive)

**_Chapter 11: All Good Things Must Come To An End_ **

Virgil has been awake for approximately three days, two hours, and twenty-five minutes. Any naps have lasted no more than 5 minutes and have been far and few inbetween. Thomas has been running a fever of 102 degrees for exactly three days and one hour. Virgil’s heart broke when Thomas let out a pained whimper in his fevered dream. Thomas called out for their mother, although it came as little more than a quiet whisper due to the boy’s throat being sore and scratchy. 

Virgil wasn’t going to lie, he was getting pretty concerned. Thomas hadn’t gotten this bad since he was first diagnosed. Virgil prayed to every deity possible that this wasn’t the medication failing, because in their current circumstance there was pretty much nothing he could do to get him to a doctor without turning them both in to the authorities. But for now, if he wanted to keep Thomas on any medication  _ at all _ , he needed to get up and move. Virgil silently crawled over to their bags in the pile of scrap metal that acted as a makeshift shelter. Virgil would have set up in one of the rusting old cars, but those were the most likely to be checked by the occasional officer passing through- 

_ “Agh!” _

Virgil hissed in pain as he rammed his head into a low hanging piece of metal. 

“ _ Hey, did you hear that? _ ” A voice came from outside the pile of scraps. 

All tiredness and pain were quickly forgotten in lieu of scrambling to grab his bags, getting Thomas, and  _ running. _

Virgil was able to get all his stuff together and quickly pick up Thomas. Virgil froze as Thomas let out a pained yelp when Virgil grabbed him. 

“ _ Who’s there!? Show yourself! _ ” another voice called, this time it sounded like it was closer. Acting purely on instinct and adrenaline, Virgil took a small rock and threw it to the other side of the junkyard to distract the guards. 

“ _ I think it came from over there!” _

Virgil took his chance and ran, keeping Thomas as close to his chest as possible to keep the bouncing to a minimum. 

Virgil just managed to make it to the edge of the junkyard before Thomas gave a groan in his arms. Knowing what this meant, Virgil quickly turned Thomas so he was vomiting on the ground instead of all over Virgil. Eventually, puking turned to dry heaving, and then Thomas leaned back into Virgil, eyes already closing in exhaustion. Virgil put the back of his hand to Thomas’ forehead before hissing in surprise at how hot it was.  _ Shit, this isn’t looking good. _ Virgil pulled out a piece of bread and some water and slowly helped Thomas swallow it down along with more Ibuprofen. 

_ Today is going to be a long day _ .

That statement only proved to be more true when they got to the cafe. Usually he loves going to Rising Sun cafe in the mornings. He loves talking to Emile and Remy before he busks, and they always let Virgil and Thomas eat some of the extra food. But most importantly, they let Thomas stay inside while Virgil plays, and keeps an eye on Thomas when he’s not feeling well. 

The problem however, is that there is another worker in the shop who absolutely  _ despises _ Virgil. Virgil can say with confidence that Casey Franks hates him with a burning passion, and it just so happened that Casey was filling in for Emile and Remy while they were on a family vacation for the holidays. Virgil did his best to keep his head down as he walked through the door and led Thomas to the reading nook. He put Thomas down on one of the bean bag chairs and laid his bag down next to the sleeping boy. Virgil pressed a quick kiss to Thomas’ sweaty forehead, before heading out to play his guitar. 

  
  


Virgil was about an hour into playing when he was interrupted by Casey slamming open the Cafe door and roughly grabbing Virgil by the shoulder. 

“Hey, you.” Casey all but growled “Get your idiot brother to stop crying.” 

Virgil rushed into the cafe to see a crowd of worried customers crowding around Thomas. Virgil shoved his way through and wrapped his arms around Thomas. He rubbed a gentle hand on Thomas’ back and calmly addressed the crowd. 

“I’m sorry about that folks, he’ll be fine, if you can return to your seats and carry on it would be much appreciated. Thank you for your concern.” Virgil apologized calmly. All but one of the crowd members hesitantly stepped away. The one lady left looked to be in her 40s or so. She stepped forward and kneeled down in front of the boys. 

“Hi there, my name is Grace. I thought I should tell you that the boy was screaming out for his mother in his sleep. Maybe if you called her to pick you up or something he would calm down?” The lady offered. Virgil’s heart dropped as he listened closer to the hoarse cries of his brother. He realized that the lady was right. Thomas was repeatedly asking for mom to wake up, even though there was no mom to be seen.

“Thank you ma'am, but I sadly can’t do that. Our mother died a couple months ago. He is running a fever, so it must have just been a bad fever dream or something. I would have left him at home, but I didn’t think it was a good idea to leave him alone either, and I need to work to put food on the table.” Virgil explained.

“Oh my, I’m so sorry to hear that. Is there anything I could do to help calm him down?” The woman offered. Virgil was about to decline when an idea suddenly struck him. 

“Do you think you could pass me my backpack?” Virgil requested, motioning for his bag. Grace grabbed the bag and passed it over to Virgil, who carefully unzipped the bag with one hand and tried to dig out something from the very bottom of the bag. Virgil let out a sigh of relief as he felt his hand wrap around a small stuffed rabbit hiding beneath all of their other belongings. Virgil carefully extracted the stuffed animal from the bag and placed in it Thomas’ hands. When Thomas felt the stuffed animal he almost immediately quieted. A wave of relief crashed over the cafe when the cries were replaced by soft sniffles. 

“Thank you.” Virgil thanked the lady for helping him.

“It’s no problem, really. Glad to help.” Grace replied with a smile. “If you wanted I could keep an eye on him while you keep playing outside.” She offered kindly. 

“Thank you for the offer, but I think I will just take him outside with me. I will only be playing for another hour or so, and I’d like to keep a close eye on him.” Virgil explained politely. 

“Actually, I don’t think you will be.” An all too familiar voice snarked from behind grace.  _ Great, here comes Casey to ruin my day once again. _

“And why would that be?” Virgil growled. 

“It has come to my attention that you don’t seem to have a permit for busking,” Casey explained with a shit eating grin on her face. “And although our dear Emile and Remy have gone soft on you,  _ I  _ like to follow local laws. Her smile only grew wider as she continued.”I’ll let you off without penalty if you leave now and don’t come back, but if you want to argue about it I’m sure I can get the cops involved.”

Virgil just stared at her in shock. Words could not represent how much he wanted to knock that smug smile right off her face, but as Thomas whimpered pitifully in his arms, he remembered the words of the kind doctor the night they rode here..  _ ‘Keep him safe at all costs’  _

Virgil took a deep breath before he nodded in defeat and went to pack up his guitar. Casey just watched with that smug grin as Virgil walked out of the cafe feeling utterly defeated. 

_ Guess it’s time to search for a new busking spot… _


	12. A Familiar Tune

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CHAPTER WARNINGS: Major character death, illness
> 
> Get ready to cry, because it's going down!

**_Chapter 12: A Familiar Tune_ **

_ Jones street maybe? Or willow avenue?  _ Virgil was completing the all too familiar task of figuring out how to meet this month’s finances. The only difference this time is that he was completing it in an alleyway dusted in snow just south of the public library. He looked down at Thomas, who was curled up in his lap covered in all the blankets and coats they owned trying to keep warm, his face scrunched in pain. The redness of his cheeks and nose making the spattering of freckles much more noticeable on his tiny face. His breathing was labored, but still there as his body shook with feeble coughs. 

Sighing, Virgil carefully moved the child into a slightly leaned back sitting position and rubbed gently at his chest to try and make breathing a little easier. He let out a small whimper the moment he was moved and tried to fight the new position. 

“Shhhh,” Virgil hushed the boy “It’s okay Thomas, I’m right here. This is gonna help you breathe, okay? I just need you to calm down.” Virgil tried to softly comfort the boy. It worked slightly, as the thrashing ceased, although he couldn’t tell if that was a bad sign or not. Virgil took out the thermometer to do another temperature check when Virgil noticed something. A slight blue tinge to Thomas’ lips drew his attention back to the child immediately. 

Thomas slowly blinked his eyes, they were cloudy and unfocused, as if covered in a thick fog, and his gaze seemed almost confused, as if he were pondering some age-old question we have yet to answer despite years of searching. He opened and closed his mouth a few times before a hoarse whisper came out. It was barely audible, but Virgil was holding onto every word he said. Knowing that any syllable may be his last. 

“ _ Vee, look,”  _ Thomas rasped, his hazy eyes looking straight ahead. Virgil’s heart broke, but he decided he would keep it together for Thomas’ last moments. They wouldn’t be filled with pain or tears, and he would make sure of that. 

“What is it Tommy, what do you see?” He asked, fighting to keep the tears from his eyes, even though he knew Thomas couldn’t see them. 

“ _ It’s mommy, Vee. Mommy and Daddy are coming to get us! They’ll take us back home and you can be happy again, no more working or hunger, just love.”  _ Thomas reminisced.  _ ‘When did he get so smart?’ _ Virgil chuckled wetly. 

“Yeah, Tommy. You’re going home, you’ll never have to be hungry again. You’ll be warm and safe and Mommy and Daddy will take good care of you.” 

“ _ But what about you? Aren’t you coming? It’s not home if you’re not there.”  _ Thomas questioned, his breathing quickening slightly. Virgil knew there wasn’t much time left. 

“I can’t come yet, but I promise I’ll meet you there soon,” Virgil promised, stroking a hand through his brother’s hair. “Is mommy singing her special song?” Virgil asked, no longer able to keep the shake from his voice. 

_ “Yeah, she would always sing it when we came home. And you used to sign it with her, remember? Can you sing it now so mommy knows you’re coming back?”  _ Thomas requested, his gaze clearing for just a moment as he looked up to Virgil.  _ “She wants to know that you’re coming too.”  _ Virgil choked back a sob before taking a deep breath and recalling the song he knew by heart. He sang every note to echo the soft melody that played in his memories. 

“ _ You are my sunshine, my only sunshine.”  _

Thomas’ feverish face fell into a peaceful smile as he heard the first notes of the song. 

_ “You make me happy, when skies are gray.”  _

He slumped further back into Virgil’s arms as he listened to the heavenly voices of specters and his brother combine. Twisting together, lilting into perfect harmonies fit for the angels. 

“ _ You never know dear, how much I love you.”  _

Thomas threw one more wayward glance to the sky before returning his gaze to the glowing figures in front of him. He felt the warm embrace of his mother’s arms cradle him close to her chest as the echoes of his brother’s voice played in his mind.

_ “Please don’t take my sunshine away,”  _

Thomas didn’t know why Virgil was crying, he said he was coming back after all. This wasn’t a goodbye, just a ‘see you later.’ Virgil would be safe and warm with them before he knew it! He looked to his mother’s face, and let his eyes gently close as he moved closer into his mother’s embrace. 

_ And everything melted away.  _


	13. It's Over, Isn't It?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CHAPTER WARNINGS: minor description of dead body (no gore), self hatred, mentions of suicide

**_Chapter 13: It’s Over, Isn’t it?_ **

Virgil watched as the last bit of life faded from his brother’s eyes as a sob tore itself from his chest. He sobbed into the night, letting his cries fill the empty midnight streets. Everything felt so distant, as if he were the only thing in the world. Thomas’ limp and lifeless body felt so heavy yet so light at the same time as he cradled it close to his chest. 

“ _ Such a  _ **_fucking FALIURE_ ** ” He shouted into the night, though his voice cam out as more of a strangled cry then a shout. “ _ I couldn’t keep  _ **_one_ ** _ family member alive.  _ **_Not. One._ ** _ “  _ He cried. 

“ _ Maybe dad was right to leave,”  _ Virgil spat bitterly. “ _ I wouldn’t want to have to be around me either. I’m a waste of a son. _ ” 

Virgil cried anew until the first rays of the morning sun climbed the horizon and peaked over the building tops, flooding the street with it’s soft golden glow. But all the colors seemed muted as Virgil held the limp body of his brother in his arms. 

Virgil reached out a shaky hand and pulled his backpack closer, searching for a certain item as the numbness of grief set in.

“ _ Thomas, mom, look what I’ve got!” Virgil exclaimed as he ran out of the house. The other two turned to see what Virgil had brought, and Thomas was delighted to see one of his favorite blankets in the whole wide world. The child gasped, running up and tackling Virgil in a big hug. The rainbow blanket with white flowery detailing was Thomas' last birthday gift before their father died. They were so rushed getting out of the house that they must have forgotten it. Thomas held the blanket tight to his chest and wrapped it around his shoulders as he hugged his brother’s leg.  _

_ “Thank you , thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!” Thomas repeated, bouncing up and down in excitement. “You’re the best big brother ever!”  _

The words echoed in Virgil’s mind as he pulled the now faded blanket from the bottom of the bag. He put it off to the side and carefully moved Thomas into his lap and hugged him for the last time. It was a gentle squeeze, nothing like the bone crushing hug he wanted to wrap Thomas in, but he just seemed so fragile in death, as if the slightest touch would shatter him like glass. 

Virgil just held the body for a minute, preparing himself to make the call and get it over with. Virgil bowed his head in shame. The boy’s words from the bus ride to Chespeak rang loud and clear in his ears. Tried to block them out, he couldn’t handle how untrue they came out to be. 

“ _ He’s my hero” _

“Some hero I turned out to be….” Virgil whispered brokenly as he carefully wrapped the blanket around Thomas’ fragile body. Taking care to shield his peaceful face from the cold winds around them. He pressed one last kiss to the crown of his brother’s head before gently laying his body down on the concrete floor and moving to walk away. He took one last glance at the bundle of blankets, and quickly moved around the corner. It took all his willpower to move away and leave him there, but Virgil knew it was the best thing to do.

Virgil shakily pulled out his phone and dialed 911, something he has come to wish he had done earlier.  _ Maybe he’d still be alive _ . Virgil thought bitterly, but quickly shook the thought from his head and pressed the call button on his small flip phone.  _ I can think about that later, right now, is acting time. _ Virgil steeled himself as the dispatcher’s voice rang out from the other end of the line. 

“ _ 911, what’s your emergency?”  _ The voice asked. 

Virgil schooled his voice and mannerisms into that of a concerned citizen instead of a grieving brother. He would have to act oblivious to keep the authorities from finding out. 

“Hi, I’m calling to report a body found on Woodcreek Avenue in Chespeak city.” He informed her, letting just the perfect amount of distress creep into his voice. “I was just walking down the street when I saw something in the alleyway and decided to check it out. It seems to be a small child, but he has no pulse, is incredibly pale, and is burning to the touch, but his extremities are cold, so I’d guess he’s been out in the elements for a while” Virgil described. 

“Thank you for calling, please stay calm and stay where you are. I’m sending over a police car to investigate and take further action. They may ask you a few questions, so please cooperate and you should be on your way in no time.” She informed Virgil. 

“I will, thank you ma’am.” Virgil thanked the woman before hanging up. He quickly made sure that he hadn’t left any bags or anything in the alleyway before keeping an eye out for the cop car. 

It took about 20 minutes for the cops to get there. They questioned Virgil about what he’d found and then bagged the body and left. Virgil didn’t dare look as they zipped up the bag. He knew he would lose the little bit of composure he was still holding onto. He wished that he could have given Thomas his own burial. He would have done it somewhere special, out in the woods near the birds and animals he had always admired so much. As the cop cars left, Virgil knew exactly what he was going to do.

  
  


Virgil walked for miles in the cold morning air, relishing in the sting of cold air in his lungs, His mind mercifully blank as he walked past Rising Sun Cafe. He thought he heard a familiar voice calling out to him, but he simply continued walking to his destination. Virgil barely took notice as the urbanized streets shifted to dirt roads as the sound of flowing water echoed in his ears. He walked further and further down the dirt trails, the twisting paths like a maze only  _ he  _ had the map for as he strayed from the main path at the towering white pine that was ingrained in his memory.

“ _ Mommy, look!” Virgil exclaimed, racing up to the towering tree in front of him. Its green needles a vibrant green among the array of spring flowers growing through the wet earth below his feet.. He bounced up and down excitedly as his mother’s steady footsteps came up behind him.  _

_ “That’s a pretty big pine tree there,” His mother commented, stepping up to the tree and running her hand down the uneven bark of the towering tree. “This is called a white pine. They aren’t like the pine trees we use for Christmas. These can grow super tall, like this one.” His mother explained, gently setting a 3 year old Thomas down by the hot pink flowers of late Christmas rose.  _

Virgil let the memories play in his mind as he walked down the unmarked path, following the trail he knew by heart.

_ Mrs. Thompson was relaying more facts about white pines to Virgil when they heard a shuffling noise from where Thomas was sitting. They looked over to see the child laying down on his stomach among the pink blooms, his eyes fixed on the ground in front of him.  _

_ “What do you see there, bud?” Their mother asked the boy, crouching down to try and find what had Thomas so captivated. She was searching the pine duff when suddenly her eyes caught on a bright orange newt sitting happily among the pink flowers.  _

_ “Newt!” Thomas giggled excitedly, his eyes never leaving the small creature.  _

_ “That’s right,” His mother praised. “This is a newt, what do you think we should name him?” she asked. Knowing that the boys had a fun time giving all the animals names.  _

_ “Hmmm,” Thomas thought, the tip of his tongue peaking out the side of his mouth in concentration as he seemed to study the small creature, before turning to Virgil. “You name Vee!” He requested. Thomas loved his brother’s creative naming style.  _

Virgil came to a stop in a sunny clearing, looking around as the morning sun shimmered on the covering of fresh dew. He made his way over to a small evergreen tree that grew near the center of the clearing, and surveyed the ground for the softest spot, setting his bag down among the winter blooms. 

_ “Well, he’s sitting pretty happily on some Christmas Rose, so maybe we could name him Navi?” The 12 year old suggested.  _

_ “Navi,” The mother tested the name out on her tongue. “I like that name! How did you come up with it?” She asked, knowing that her son normally had a reason or connection when it came to names.  _

_ “Well, christmas roses are known for blooming on christmas, and christmas in spanish is ‘Navidad’, so I shortened it to Navi.” He explained. “Navi is also short for Anavi, which is Indian in origin and means ‘kind to people’. The newt hasn’t run away yet, so I think he’s pretty kind.” Virgil explained with a smile.  _

His mother’s warm and hearty laugh played over and over again in his mind. It seemed to echo through his being as cleared a spot by the roots of the pine tree. His hands were numb with cold as set out to gather the necessary supplies for his plan.

Virgil stood up and walked slightly to the right of the tree to find a nice smooth rock. It wasn’t too large; maybe a bit bigger than Virgil’s hand, but Virgil deemed it perfect and went back to his backpack to dig out the remains of his old paint supply. He pulled out blues, purples, pinks, a yellow, and black and white before getting to work. He painted the surface of the rock with a galaxy of rainbow, splattering it with white paint to create a trail of stars around the edge. He then pulled out his yellow paints and painted on a blazing sun in the middle. In the middle of the sun, in rainbow letters, he wrote a single word. ‘ _ Anavi’  _ with a small painting of an orange newt below it.

Thomas was the kindest kid he knew. Always willing to share, even if there was very little in the first place. He always seemed to be much too wise for his age. 

With the rock finished, he placed it among the snowdrops and Christmas roses, casting one more tearful glance before standing up, packing his bag, and walking away. 

  
  


_ “Don’t worry, Thomas. I’m coming”  _

  
  



	14. Familiar Faces

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CHAPTER WARNINGS: Reference to character death,

**_Chapter 14: Familiar Faces_ **

It was midday when Virgil found himself back in the heart of Chespeak city. He was roaming the streets, looking for a particular park bench where he met the lady who gave him directions to Rising Sun cafe. On their first day in Chespeak. He found the bench and sat down. Looking sorrowfully at the Pigeons as he remembered the day they came here. 

“Where’s the little one today?” 

Virgil was shocked out of his trance by a voice coming from beside him. He jumped slightly, not remembering when the lady sat down. 

“O-oh, uh, he- um, he” Virgil stuttered helplessly. The lady gave a warm laugh. It reminded him of his mother’s. 

“Take a deep breath, dear.” The woman instructed with a kind smile. “I’m sorry I scared ya. You were looking pretty intensely at those pigeons there. I don’t think old Larry has done anything to ya.” She joked. Virgil took a deep breath and did his best to calm his racing heart before trying again. 

“Sorry, I was just,” Virgil hesitated for a moment. “ lost in thought I guess.” He offered with an apologetic smile. 

The woman seemed to see how he avoided the question about Thomas, but thankfully, decided to drop it.

“What’s got you so lost in thought there? You seem pretty down in the dumps for a beautiful afternoon.” The lady asked, pulling out her bag of seeds and offering a handful to Virgil. He was tempted to decline, but decided that he owed it to the lady, no matter how much it broke him to be reminded of Thomas. 

“I-” He stopped for a moment, staring down at the seeds as if they would give him the right words to say. In the end, he settled for a half truth. “I have some business to attend to tonight and tomorrow,” He explained. “ and I’m not exactly looking forward to it.” He gave a half hearted throw of the seeds, watching as the pigeons went to pick them up from the walkway. 

“Does it have to do with the boy?” She asked softly, placing a gentle hand on Virgil’s shoulders. Virgil just gave a dejected shake of his head. 

“No,” Virgil responded. “He’s all safe now. These are my demons to deal with.” It was said in a low whisper as tears pooled in his eyes. Because it was true, wasn’t it? Thomas was safe. Safer then he ever had been. Safer than he ever  _ would  _ be with Virgil. 

The lady was silent for a moment as she rubbed her hand up and down Virgil’s back, before pulling it away. Virgil looked over to see her unwrapping the knitted lavender shawl from her shoulders and reaching to place it over Virgil’s shoulders. 

“Well, I don’t know what demons you’re going to fight, but you won’t make it to them if you freeze first.” She chided. 

“Thank you, but I-I can’t accept this” Virgil stuttered. Shocked at the lady’s immediate and unprovoked kindness. 

“And why not?” She questioned. Virgil had to think for a moment to come up with an excuse that didn’t come off as blunt as his most truthful one would be. 

“It’s probably going to get ruined where I’m going, and I wouldn’t want you to waste your money on me. I’ll be fine in just the sweatshirt. I’m used to cold temperatures.” He explained. It wasn’t a lie either, there was a good chance that upon getting back to Valerian he would get beat up by Matthew and his gang, and depending on where he stayed the night, it could be pretty dirty. 

“First of all, I’ll waste my money on whatever the hell I want to waste it on,” She reprimanded, shocking Virgil into silence. “And secondly, just because you’re  _ used to _ cold temperatures, doesn’t mean that you should _ purposefully go out  _ in cold temperatures.”

“I’m not convincing you otherwise, am I?” Virgil said, an exasperated smile playing on his lips. 

“Nope, better to give up now,” She said with a wink. “I’ve dealt with too many stubborn old coots to lose an argument.” 

Virgil laughed at the pride in her voice. 

“Well, thank you then. Your kindness shows no bounds miss. I am extremely lucky to have met you.” Virgil thanked her.

“The pleasure’s all mine, you’re one of the good ones out here, ya hear me? Now don’t go causing trouble and don’t go knocking on death’s door half frozen.” She joked. “If you’re going to fight those demons, give ‘em everything you’ve got.” She said sternly, but no matter how fierce her tone, her face betrayed her true concern. 

“I’ll try ma’am, thank you once again.” Virgil assured her as he stood up from the park bench and adjusted the shawl around his shoulders. Though he wouldn’t admit it, the shawl was actually really warm, and the constant weight on his shoulders made him feel just a bit more safe. 

“You be safe out there, boy. And know that my door is always open to you.” She told him, her voice filled with the motherly love and support Virgil had been missing in his life since his father had died. 

“ _ I will be _ ” He spoke the words as if they were anything but the lie that they were. He knew what he was planning to do. But the kind lady didn’t need to know where her scarf would lay by tomorrow. 

He waved goodbye as he headed towards a certain couple’s empty house. He knew that they wouldn’t be there, but that was probably for the best. Virgil didn’t know if he’d have the heart to leave his goodbye note on the doorstep if they stopped him.

He took the time to pay attention to every small detail of the house as he walked towards it, committing every sight to memory so he could remember it in his final moments. Remember the smell of lavender permeating through the yard, remember the soft glow of lights in the evening shadows. Remember the sight of Lino sitting in the window, basking his coffee brown fur in the light of the setting sun as soft music would be playing through the kitchen. He tries to imagine Remy pulling Emile into a dance at some random time in the kitchen as the coffee loving man finished making dinner. He imagined Emile’s loving smile as he stares into the eyes of his beloved. 

Virgil smiles as he recalls the memories of Thanksgiving dinner, how was so quickly accepted into their little group. And he thinks of Thomas, and how happy the boy was to finally have to love and security that the kind adults gave him.  _ Thomas is with our real family, now _ . Virgil thought sadly as he placed the carefully closed envelope on the doorstep. 

_ And soon, I will be too. _


	15. Paying My Dues

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CHAPTER WARNINGS: none

**_Chapter 15: Paying My Dues_ **

It was 5 in the morning when Virgil boarded the first available bus that went all the way to Valerian. He stepped on and sat himself in the back of the bus, not really paying attention to the early morning crowd as he stared out the frost covered window. Everything seemed so serene as they drove far down highways and roads. People going to work to support themselves and their families, acting so sure that there would  _ be  _ a family to return to. 

Virgil used to think like that too, back in school. He would take every hug for granted, never bothering to commit the sound of his father’s voice to memory, because he thought it would always be there. Now, as he finds himself without anyone to turn to, he wishes he’d taken more care to remember. Wishes he’d drawn a perfect picture of Thomas’ smile, so he could remember exactly how his eyes lit up like stars when Virgil would tell him a cool fact about a bird, or a name. Wishes he’d held onto his mother’s embraces just a bit tighter, so maybe he could always remember the feeling. But more than anything, he wishes for the blissful ignorance these people all seem to have.

They seemed so sure that everything would be alright, and he wishes that for just a moment he could feel like that. Wishes that he didn’t have to fear for his safety as he rode towards the place he once called home. He could have just stayed safe in Chespeak, but there was some unfinished business he had in his hometown. 

_It’s time to set things right_. Virgil thought as he checked the time on his flip phone. _I’ll have to cancel that too._ Virgil thought as he read the numbers. **_7:00_** **_AM_** is what they read. _Alright, that gives me enough time to head to the park, the pharmacy, and the cemetery before going to the school for Roman’s lunch wave. I’ll do Matthew after school, I think he gets picked up on Fridays anyways._ Virgil internally mapped out his day. He wishes he could catch Dr. Sullivan and properly thank him as well, but there was no sure fire way of meeting him, so he just had to let that one go. 

With his schedule in mind, Virgil headed off towards the library to use their computers. He walking through the streets of the town, remembering something different with each twist and turn. Every blade of grass in this town held a memory for him, and for the first time in a long time Virgil just let himself  _ remember _ . Remember what it felt like to roll around in the grass, each blade tickling in between his toes as he runs off into the rolling fields. Remember the feeling of the afternoon sun beating down on his back as he gets Ice cream with Thomas. Remember how his father’s boisterous voice would carry itself through the air, allowing crowds of people to hear the best dad jokes in the books. He remembers his first performance at a local open mic On church street; remembers how the chilly autumn wind tugged through his hair as the trees burned with the bright reds and oranges of the fall.

But most of all, he remembers the feeling of peace. The feeling of genuine happiness and carelessness that always seemed to permeate through these streets when he was younger. He made his way to the library, taking care to kindly greet the librarian before making his way back to the computer desks. He took the time to cancel his phone plan, making sure that everything was all logged out of before double checking his backpack for a certain homemade ID card that he would need at his next stop. And with his first task complete, Virgil made his way to the local pharmacy. 

He stepped through the front doors and went up to the service desk to see a familiar worker sitting at the desk scrolling through something on her phone. He was  _ hoping  _ that she  _ wouldn’t  _ be there in person, so he wouldn’t have to explain the letter. But this made the canceling of the prescription a whole lot easier. At the sound of footsteps in the near empty building, the worker looked up from her phone and raised an eyebrow in questioning as Virgil walked over to the desk. 

“Virge?” She greeted, though the questioning was evident in her tone. “What are you doing here? You aren’t due for pickup until later this month,” 

Virgil grinned sheepishly and rubbed at the back of his neck.

“Yeah, sorry about dropping in on you like this. But, that’s actually what I came to talk about.” Virgil apologized before continuing on to the matter at hand as he pulled out the ID card she had given him. “I-uh, I actually need to cancel the prescription.” 

Michelle’s eyes went wide with shock. 

“Woah, I’m not authorized to do that without the changes being officially made on Thomas’ medical records. What’s with the sudden change? And why haven’t we been informed of this by your mom or Thomas’ healthcare provider?” She questioned, confusion and suspicion written all over her face. 

_ Oh look at that, it’s conveniently ‘run away from this conversation’ o’clock! _

Virgil just sighed before pulling an envelope out of his bag and placing it in front of Michelle. 

“Look, thank you for all you’ve done for us, and I really wish I could answer your questions, but I just can’t.” Virgil sighed as he pulled his backpack and guitar case back over his shoulder and turned to the door. “Everything you need to know is in the letter, I’m sorry, but I have to go now. Goodbye, Michelle. I wish you the best.” Virgil then walked out of the pharmacy, leaving a dumbstruck pharmacist and a piece of his past behind. 

Virgil looked down to  _ actually  _ check the time when he realized that it was already 11:00. 

“Shoot!” Virgil exclaimed in surprise. “I need to get going.” He muttered under his breath as he began jogging towards the school in the cold winter air. It wouldn’t be that big of a deal if there weren’t security guards, on campus, but they added a whole new level of difficulty. He would have to go through the back doors of the Gym room, which were left unlocked when the outdoor classes were being held, and then sneak his way into the auditorium, where Roman always spends his lunch. The young thespian always loved to spend the lunch wave pretending to be in front of an audience and singing his heart out to musicals. 

This time however, as he quietly snuck into the theater, there was no song to be heard. Roman sat all alone on the stage, looking dejectedly at his lunch, but more noticeably, he seemed to be staring rather longingly at a group of seats towards the front of the theater. Virgil recognized them as where he used to sit. Virgil decided to make his entrance special to try and cheer up the only kid his age who might still consider him a friend in this town. 

“ _ You with the sad eyes _ ” 

Roman visibly flinched as Virgil’s voice echoed through the empty auditorium.

_ “don’t be discouraged, oh I realize. It’s hard to take courage, in a world full of people, you can lose sight of it all. And the darkness inside you can make you feel so small.”  _

Roman’s face lit up as he saw Virgil walk closer to the front of the auditorium, and harmonized with the emo teen for the first time in a long time. 

“ _ But I see your true colors shining through”  _

The smiles on both of the boys' faces grew wider and wider as their voices worked to create harmonies the summer birds would be proud of. 

_ “I see your true colors, and that’s why I love you~”  _

Roman hopped off stage to meet Virgil on the ground as their voices continued to intermingle in beautiful works of art. 

_ “So don’t be afraid to let them show.”  _

Roman took Virgil’s hand as the smaller boy walked up to him and gently squeezed the hand, as if to check if he was really there. 

_ “Your true colors, your true colors are beautiful.”  _

Virgil squeezed back, assuring Roman that this was in fact real. 

“ _ Like a rainbow, oh~, like a rainbow, whoa-ooah~” _

Their voices rose and fell in perfect harmonies, lilting through the notes as if it were what they were born to do. The harmonies soon fell to silence as the two boys just stared at each other, neither quite sure what to say. In the end, it was Roman who broke the silence. 

“ _ Virgil?”  _ he whispered, “ _ Is it really you?”  _ Virgil gave a snort of amusement, but the happiness on his face revealed how truly glad he was to see Roman once again. 

“The one and only,” He answered, “Always so dramatic Princey-WOAH!” Virgil gave an undignified squawk as Roman almost toppled him over in a hug. 

“It’s really you! Virgil you had no idea how worried I was! I thought something had happened to you, or that Matthew had finally gone too far, or any multitude of horrible things!” Roman stuttered out, holding tightly onto Virgil as a single tear rolled down his face. Virgil decided to quell his snarky remarks for the moment, and simply hug Roman back. 

“I’m right here Roman, and I’m in one piece, so I’d say I’m doing alright.” That was a lie, but Virgil saw no reason to further distress the already frazzled boy. 

“Where on earth have you been!? I mean- No” Roman cut himself off and just buried his face into Virgil’s shoulder and worked to return his breathing to a normal pace. “That’s not important right now. I need you to promise me something Virge.” 

“What is it?” Virgil asked, trying to keep his cool even though he was freaking out on the inside. 

“Promise me you won’t leave me again? Or, at least don’t drop off the face of the earth with no warning this time?” Roman managed a small smile as he looked up at his friend with hopeful eyes. Virgil hated to be the one who had to break that hope. 

“I- I can’t promise that Roman.” The boy’s face fell as Virgil pulled away from the hug. “Things are messy right now, and I don’t want to make a promise I can’t keep.” 

“ _ Please, Virgil! _ ” Roman begged, trying to grab Virgil as he moved away.  _ “I can’t lose you again.”  _

Virgil stopped moving for just a moment to turn and face his friend with a warm smile.

“Roman, you can never really lose me,” Virgil said. “ I will haunt you as a ghost if necessary. I’ll always be with you, in one way or another. Just give this note to your dads for me, will ya? I’m sorry it has to end this way, but I’ve gotta get going.” 

And with that, Virgil left the auditorium. Continuing onto his next task before the school day was over and the students would be let out.


	16. My Final Goodbyes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CHAPTER WARNINGS: Mentions of funerals, character death, bullying, homophobia

**_Chapter 16: My Final goodbyes_ **

Virgil made his way across town once again, but this time he went to a rarely visited site. Valerian Cemetery is a lonely field, covered in graves and a somber feeling that threatens to overtake anay joy one might have had before entering the gates. Virgil, however, did not bother fighting the heavy silence that filled the air, instead choosing to embrace it as he made his way to the back of the graveyard. He looked through row after row before finally coming across the familiar headstone that marked where his father had been buried. 

Virgil barely remembered the ceremony, it was all just so gray and sad that it kind of blended in with the rest of that time. As Virgil faintly remembered the priest reciting prayers over his father’s grave, Virgil became kind of appreciative of the faraway memorial he had given his brother. His spirit wouldn’t be tied or seen in a desolate cemetery, but would be visited daily by the passing birds and rabbits. The newts and salamanders who would unknowingly walk by a rock representing a small boy who would have loved to see them. Virgil wished he had been able to do more for his mother’s burial, but due to her size and his limited amount of time when Thomas was at school left him unable to do more than report the body and move on. He was going to make a stone for her, similar to the one he made Thomas, but he was forced to leave Valerian before he could do so.

He had always hated reporting the bodies. Giving up the remains of his loved ones without even knowing where they would rest, or what they would do. But since it was illegal to just  _ bury a body _ , and Virgil had enough guilt as it was, he just opted for the legal route.

Virgil placed an envelope in front of his father’s grave. He knew nobody was going to read it, but it still felt better to offer an unread apology than none at all. There were many things he wanted to say to his father, and this was the closest thing he would get. 

Feeling accomplished at his productivity, Virgil walked back towards the school grounds with newly sparked confidence, or maybe it was just resignation to the fact that whatever was going to happen was going to happen and there was nothing he was going to do about it. He started back on the path he had come from, walking back down the rows and stepping through the gates of the cemetery before continuing down the road.

The bell had just rung as Virgil made it to the schoolyard. Pathways were flooding with stampedes of impatient children waiting to go home and ignore their homework for a couple hours, the library was populated by a small group of high honors students who got together to study.

Virgil scanned the crowd, searching for a familiar face when suddenly he found it. Piercing blue eyes met his own dark brown ones as Virgil gulped in fear as he saw the fire in Matthew’s gaze. Virgil watched as his long time bully slipped through the crowd and stood in front of him.

“Virgil,” Matthew greeted coldly. His gaze somehow cold as ice yet burning with hatred all at the same time. 

“Matthew, look I know-” Virgil was cut off by Matthew grabbing his wrist and dragging him through the crowd into less populated space by the side of the building and pushing him up against the wall. 

“ _ I thought I told you what would happen if you came back, Thompson _ .” Matthew hissed, staring daggers at Virgil, who didn’t even try to squirm against Matthew's grip. He just merely hung there with a sad look in his eyes. It looked almost too peaceful for what was happening. 

“ _ I know,” _ Virgil whispered “ _ and I’m sorry.”  _

Matthew loosened his grip out of shock, staring wide eyed at the boy in front of him. 

_ “Sorry?”  _ Matthew asked incredulously “What the hell do you have to be  _ sorry _ about!?” He asked in shock. Almost all traces of his villainous persona were gone, leaving a thoroughly confused and maybe just a bit scared teenager in its place. 

“For anything bad I’ve ever done to you,” Virgil explained. “For that time in first grade where I accidentally pushed you in the mud in front of your friends, for the times I threw you under the bus when I should have had your back, for everything I’ve done that made you hate me.” Virgil looked Matthew straight in the eye with a kind smile. “ _ I’m sorry.” _

Matthew’s face shuffled through hundreds of emotions in the following seconds; pain, happiness, anger, pride, disgust, but most prominent of all, there was  _ fear _ . 

“You-  _ no! _ Dude, I didn’t even  _ remember _ those! Why are you still _ beating yourself up over that!? _ Why are you  _ so damn hard to hate!”  _ Matthew’s hands were frantically running through his hands in distress. Suddenly, the motion ceased and his breath caught in his chest as Matthew released his grip on Virgil and faced him head on and lunged towards him.

Virgil tensed up, waiting for the pain: A kick, a punch, anything that would make more sense than what he felt now. Because what he felt now, were arms wrapping around him and pulling him close. Virgil felt a wet spot grow on his shoulder as Matthew’s shoulders began to shake.

“ **_I’m_ ** _ sorry,” _ Matthew held Virgil tighter for a moment before backing out of the hug and facing Virgil once more. He wiped a tear from his eye before continuing. “I never wanted to hate you, I really didn’t. My grandfather’s dying wish before he passed was to fight against the LGBTQ community, and since you were part of that, it meant that I was told to fight against  _ you. _ ” He explained through tears. “ It doesn’t make it right,” He admitted, “But at least know that you never did anything to deserve my anger. I was hurt and I turned it on you, and you didn’t deserve  _ any of it.  _ **_I’m sorry._ ** _ ”  _ When Virgil stayed silent in shock, Matthew just gave Virgil a sad smile and walked away. And with that, Virgil let his final words flow in the breeze. Hoping the winter winds would carry his words to the broken bully that had just stood before him

“ _ I forgive you.” _


	17. Wait For Me, I'm Coming

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEED THE WARNINGS ON THIS CHAPTER!!!!
> 
> CHAPTER WARNINGS: Suicide attempt, mentions of suicide, mentions of character death,

**_Chapter 17: Wait For Me, I’m Coming_ **

The sun was setting in the sky as Virgil walked to a place he had promised himself he’d never go. It was where he had contemplated suicide the first time, he had almost jumped off of the bridge that day, plummeted into rushing spring rapids. However, after seeing how his father’s death affected his mother, he had promised himself that he would never come here again. 

_ ‘But it’s different now,’  _ Virgil thought with a bittersweet smile. ‘ _ Now, there is no one left to care.’  _

Well, Emile and Remy might care, but his brain couldn’t seem to comprehend how anyone _ could _ care about him in the moment. No, how anyone  _ should  _ care. Virgil was a failure of a family member and a person. He had lost everyone he loved and all of them could have been avoided if he had  _ just done more _ . 

These were the thoughts that echoed in his head as he found himself on the wooden bridge that ran over a steep ravine with a rushing river down below. The icy torrents would make for a quick and merciful death, and then he would be home again.  _ Home.  _ Virgil thought with a smile.  _ Warm, safe, family filled home. _

Virgil slowly climbed up onto the railing, taking a moment to just sit and enjoy the sting of the cold evening air on his face. He placed his bag and guitar case down on the floor of the bridge and took a moment to appreciate the view.  _ I’m going  _ **_home_ ** _!  _ Virgil thought with a giddy smile. But suddenly, the sounds of the river below him were interrupted by an all too familiar voice. 

“ _ Virgil? _ ” 

Virgil recognized Roman’s voice in an instant, and stared in shock as the boy slowly crept towards him. Holding his hands up and a placating manner. 

“Virgil, I need you to come down off the edge now, you could fall. ” Roman instructed, trying and failing to keep the shake out of his voice. 

“But, I’m going home, Ro. I want to go _home_ ” Virgil argued. The sound of his voice barely audible over the rushing of the icy river below him. 

“I can take you home,” Roman offered, inching closer to Virgil. “I just need you to get off of the edge.” 

“But this is home, Ro. This is how I go home.” Virgil tried to explain, his brain growing foggy as an overwhelming feeling of cold began to creep into his senses as tears pooled in his eyes. 

“Your home is in Chespeak, Virgil. Dad told me about how they saw you at Emile and Remy’s for thanksgiving. You live there, stormcloud. This isn’t the way home.” Roman explained, trying his best to stay calm. He reached out and slowly wrapped his hands around Virgil’s torso, tightening his grip to make sure that he couldn’t jump. 

“You of all people should know that home is not a place, Roman. It’s with the people who love you. And that’s where I’m going.” Virgil argued, trying to pry Roman’s hands off of him. “The streets aren’t home, Roman. Neither is the junkyard. Thomas is home, and I’m going to get him. Momma’s waiting.” 

“Virge, I don’t know what you’re talking about, but you need to get back onto the bridge!” Roman ordered. Tightening his grip on Virgil and starting to move back as Virgil tried to lunge forward out of Roman’s grip. 

**_“LET ME GO!”_ ** Virgil cried, trying and failing to get out of Roman’s grip. **_“LET ME GO HOME!”_ **

“DAD, FATHER!” Roman called out to his dads, who came running around the corner to see Roman trying to pull a struggling Virgil off of the railing of the bridge. 

“Roman! What’s wron-” Patton was cut off by a guttural scream as Roman’s grip slipped and he was now holding Virgil by his wrists as the boy tried to jump over the edge. “VIRGIL!” Patton called as he vaulted over to grab the struggling boy, pinning him down to the bridge floor. 

**“** **_LET ME GO!!”_ ** Virgil wailed.  **_“I WANT TO GO HOME! LET ME GO HOME!”_ **

Virgil thrashed in Patton’s grasp, fighting against the older man, but he was far outmatched in every way, and eventually stopped fighting, as his screams turned to quiet pleas as the boy gave in to violent shivers. 

“ _ I just wanna go home. _ ” He pleaded.  _ “Momma’s waiting for me. I promised Thomas I’d meet him there. Let me go home!”  _ A sob tore it’s way from his chest as he curled into himself. 

“Kiddo, I can take you home. I can drive you there myself if you want. But why were you trying to jump off if you want to go home? Isn’t your home in Chespeak?” Patton asked frantically, trying to make sense of it all. Everyone’s heart broke as they heard Virgil’s next words. 

“ _ You can’t drive to my home!”  _ Virgil cried. “ _ Home is with Thomas, and you can’t drive your way into the afterlife. Home isn’t a junkyard or an alleyway, home isn’t where I slept. Home is where the people who love me are, and that’s in the afterlife.”  _

No one knew what to say at that moment. They were all heartbroken, and dumbstruck. The only sounds that filled the afternoon air were the sounds of the river and Virgil’s cries. 

“ _ I have to go  _ **_home,_ ** _ ”  _ he pleaded. Patton probably said something, but Virgil couldn’t quite hear. The sounds of the river filled his ears as he let the cold and wet that seemed to permeate through his bones take over his body. “ _ I’m going home. _ ” He whispered with a smile as his vision darkened around the edges. 

_ I’m coming, Thomas. _


	18. Home?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CHAPTER WARNINGS: Hospitals, doctors, mentions of suicide, suicidal thoughts, mentions of character death,

**_Chapter 18: Home?_ **

_ Bright lights invaded Virgil’s vision as he awoke. He felt clean, finally free of all the dirt and grime that had covered him since he began life on the streets. His clothes felt looser than normal, though. He realized that he was no longer in his signature hoodie, but a type of gown instead. He also realized that it was kind of scratchy.  _ **_Huh, that’s annoying_ ** _. Virgil thought with a huff.  _ **_Matches perfectly with that incessant beeping noise- wait…_ ** _. That caught Virgil off guard. _ **_Beeping?_ **

_ Thomas said he saw Momma when he died, but I don’t see anything. It’s warm, but not the right kind of warm.  _

**_“Where am I?”_ **

Virgil slowly blinked open his eyes, taking several minutes to clear the blurriness from his vision. He slowly became aware that he was laying in a clean bed with a couple needles taped into his arms.

“You awake, bud?” An unfamiliar voice came from beside him. He looked over to see a young woman sitting on a chair beside his bed. She put down the pencil she had been drawing with and turned her full attention to Virgil, who just gave a confused nod. “You gave us quite the scare there, you’ve been out for 3 days now. Much longer than the typical hypothermia patient. But then again, you seemed to be pretty thin and tired if those eye bags show anything.” She said. Virgil cringed at the mention of the near constant bags under his eyes. People normally just thought they were makeup, but they were earned the hard way.

Virgil sat up and shrugged. “I mean, I was awake for about 4 days before that, so I’m not surprised.” He said, as if it were the most normal thing in the world. The woman stared with wide eyes, before schooling her face into a more neutral expression. She even seemed a bit impressed.

“I mean, mad props for making it this far. I would have killed to have that ability during college. But what exactly made you decide to pull so many all nighters in a row?” She asked, Virgil could tell it was out of genuine curiosity at this point. “Don’t you think it’s a bit extreme?” 

Virgil gave a snort of laughter, although it was void of most actual humor. 

“My  _ life _ is a bit extreme.” Virgil stated. And if  _ that  _ wasn’t an understatement, he didn’t know what was. 

“It sure seems that way,” A smooth voice called from the doorway. It seemed familiar, but Virgil couldn’t quite place it until he turned to see a very familiar doctor with a certain scar on his face standing in the doorway. “I was hoping we’d meet again, but this wasn’t exactly how I planned it.” Janus walked over to sit next to the woman Virgil had been talking to. 

“So you already know me,” Janus skipped the introduction and gestured to the woman beside him. “And this is Stacy. She’s here to make sure you don’t try any crazy shit while you’re here.” 

“Wow,” Stacy drawled, “What professional language potty talk  _ Doctor Sullivan _ .” She said with a teasing smile. Nudging her coworker in the shoulder.

“Same to you  _ Ms. Hina _ .” He countered. 

Their playful banter earned a badly concealed laugh from Virgil, who was watching them with an amused smile. 

“Nice to see you too, Dr. Sullivan,” Virgil greeted. 

“Please, call me Janus. I don’t push the formality here. Especially because you are a friend. I’m an ally as well as your doctor, and if you ever have any issues feel free to let me or Stacy know.” Janus waved him off. “Now, I hate to get serious so quickly, but there are some important things we need to discuss.” 

Virgil’s smile dropped immediately, and his gaze fell to his lap.

“Go ahead then.” He said in a resigned voice. Janus gave a sigh before reaching out and taking Virgil’s hand. Virgil looked up at Janus’s mismatched eyes, one a lighter and more milky shade than the other. 

“Where is Thomas, and is he safe?” Janus asked gently. 

Virgil looked down at his lap, once again trying to find the words to say what he meant. He knew he had to be truthful. There was no point in lying, but he still couldn’t bring himself to say it straight up. Saying that Thomas was  _ dead  _ would make it so much more real, and he didn’t know if he could handle that.  _ I tried to jump off of a bridge, obviously I can’t handle that. _ Virgil thought with a scowl. 

“Virgil?” Janus’ voice pulled him out of his thoughts. 

“He- He,” Virgil took a deep breath before continuing. “He’s safe,” Virgil started, his voice low and detached. “Much safer than he would ever be out here.” Virgil heard a small gasp of shock as Stacy realized the implications of his words. Janus’ face softened almost imperceptibly. 

“So he’s dead then?” Janus tried to confirm. It was a bit blunt, but Virgil could see that it came from a place of good intent, and he just couldn’t bring himself to be mad at anyone but himself at the moment. Virgil just gave a dejected nod and wrapped his arms around himself, as if to create a shield to block out the sympathetic gazes of the two adults.  _ I don’t deserve that pity. _ Virgil thought bitterly.  _ He wouldn’t be dead if it weren't for me. _

“That’s why I tried to jump,” Virgil gave a broken whisper. “There’s nothing left for me here. I want to go home with him and mom.” He explained. Each word formed another crack in his already shattered heart.

“I want to have a warm home to return to at the end of the day with my family waiting for me like how it used to be. I want to be able to hear mom’s laugh again, to be held in her embrace at the end of a long day. To get home to Thomas begging me to play guitar or draw something for him, and maybe dad would be there too, holding mom the way he used to before he died. I want to be with my brother again.” He whispered, barely registering the tears streaming down his face. “I held him when he died, his gaze was all clouded, but he said that he saw mom, said that he heard her singing, calling out to take him home. He asked me to come with him. I told him I’d meet him at home soon.” Virgil’s voice became even more watery as Stacy’s hand came up to his shoulder and started rubbing comforting circles on his back.

“I had to report the body to the police. Do you know how that feels? To be so  _ fucking useless _ that you can’t keep a single family member alive!? To take everything you had been living for and give its lifeless form to some stranger in a uniform not even knowing what will happen to them!? His face was so  _ calm _ as I wrapped him up. I know it was the only way, but it  _ hurt _ ” Virgil choked on a sob. “ _ It hurt so bad.”  _

Janus stood up and silently disconnected the empty IV drips from Virgil’s wrist before gathering the boy into his arms and cradling him as one would a small child. Virgil just sobbed harder into Janus’ shirt and gripped on tightly, as if it would disappear upon letting go. 

“Shhhhhh..” Janus hushed the boy. “ That’s it, let it all out.” Janus said softly, “Take your time, you’re safe here. I’m not going anywhere.” Janus did his best to comfort Virgil. He seemed so much smaller now that he wasn’t protecting Thomas, so much more vulnerable than the fearless fighter who fought tooth and nail to keep his brother safe and happy. 

“ _ I don’t want to be alone again! Don’t leave me alone!”  _ Virgil sobbed 

“Sshhhh, we’re not going to leave you Virgil, we’re right here. You won’t have to be alone like that ever again. I promise.” Janus said softly. He held Virgil until the sobs were reduced to small sniffles. 

“Hey, bud. How are you feeling?” Stacy asked with a kind smile, placing a comforting hand on his back.

_ “Tired.”  _ Virgil croaked with a shrug, his voice spent from so much crying. 

Janus gave a small hum understanding, rubbing a hand up and down Virgil’s arm as the boy leaned tiredly into his chest. 

“I can only imagine, that was a pretty good cry there,” Stacy sympathized. “How about we get you some water and a bit to eat if you think you can stomach it, and then you can go back to bed.” She offered. Virgil just gave a tired nod and thanked Janus. 

“Thank you, Janus. Sorry about that.” Virgil apologized, looking guiltily at the rather large get spot on Janus’ shirt. 

“You have nothing to apologise for Virgil, it’s fine. You mean much more to me than this shirt ever will,” Janus assured him. “Plus, this is a hospital. We always have extra scrubs, otherwise there would be a lot more blood around here. And I don’t think that patients would appreciate it looking like a haunted house.” Janus joked with a small smirk. This gained a chuckle out of Virgil, which helped lift some of the heaviness from the air. 

Virgil removed himself from Janus’ lap, leaning back against the headboard of the bed.

“Well I think you’re safe for now, and I know that you’re in good hands with Janus, so I’ll go get you something to eat and drink.” Stacy said with a smile before standing up and walking out of the room. 

A sense of peace filled the air as Janus and Virgil sat in silence. It was slightly awkward, but neither of them seemed to mind. Virgil, however, had one question weighing down on his mind.

“So, what happens now?” Virgil asked, turning his head to look at Janus, who had situated himself on a chair next to Virgil’s bed. Janus seemed to think a moment before answering. 

“Well, that depends on you,” Janus explained. “In terms of the hospital: You’re currently under suicide watch, hence Stacy. You are also severely underweight and malnourished, which is kind of expected considering you were homeless, underage, and carrying the financial weight of medication along with another person.” Virgil internally sighed at the mention of Thomas. “You will be in good enough physical health to leave within a couple days, but how long you stay mostly depends on your mental state.” Janus told him, leaning back into the chair with a sigh. “Tomorrow or the day after they’re going to have one of our psychologists come in and do a check in to see how long you’re going to stay here.” Janus saw how Virgil stiffened at the mention of seeing a therapist and immediately reached out a hand to place on top of Virgil’s. “Hey, don’t worry about that for now. We’re just going to get some food and water in you for now, and we can deal with that tomorrow.  _ Plus _ , I know the person who’s on your case, and Joan is an amazing person and psychologist.” Janus assured him. 

Virgil slightly relaxed and gave a small nod. 

“Okay,” Virgil sighed. His eyes falling to the blanket. “ and after I leave the hospital? I don’t exactly have any other family to stay with.”

“Well, I don’t know  _ exactly  _ what’s going to happen, as they haven’t been able to do much without your confirmation on certain pieces of information,” Janus warned, “But know that whatever happens, you won’t be alone.  _ Heck,  _ once Remy and Emile find out I think they would have to win a  _ war  _ to put you into foster care.” Virgil chuckled.

“That does sound like them, especially Remy. The guy literally threatened to use brute force to get me into one of Emile’s old winter coats when I was busking outside in my sweatshirt.” He laughed at the memory. 

“Speaking of which, where are my things? Did they leave them at the bridge?” Virgil inquired. 

“They’ve got ‘em stored safely for now, because you aren’t allowed to have anything dangerous in the room until Joan clears it, but it is all safe and sound. As for your clothes, those were sent through a washing machine and placed back with your stuff.” Stacy said as she walked into the room holding a tray with soup and a piece of bread on it as well as a glass of water. “I think that security checked the bag, so if you had, say, a pocket knife in there or something, they probably confiscated it. I also think they took a bottle or two of medication out of there. That wasn’t for you, right?” 

Virgil muttered his thanks when Stacy handed him the food, and quickly went to answer her question. 

“No, the medication was for my brother. He had lupus, so he took an immunosuppressant, which would have been the only bottle of prescription medication in there,” Virgil clarified. “But, I guess it’s no longer needed anymore, so they can safely dispose of it if they want to.”

“Thanks, I’ll let them know,” Stacy said with a sad smile. “Now, eat up. It’s time to get some meat on those bones.” She joked, trying to lighten the mood. 

“Well, I have to go now, but let Stacy know if you need anything. See you in the morning, Virgil. And to you as well, Stacy. Take care.” 

“Night, Snake face!” Stacy called, which earned a well hidden middle finger from Janus as he left the room. Stacy snorted, and Virgil couldn’t help but giggle at their childish antics.

Virgil couldn’t help but feel at peace as he ate his first full meal since thanksgiving in a room with someone who was literally  _ hired  _ to keep him safe. It may have been unnerving for some, but after lacking proper protection for almost a year, Virgil didn’t really mind. And even with the doubts and uncertainties about the future threatening to loom over his head, he remembered what Janus had told him. That no matter what happens next, 

_ He wouldn’t be alone.  _


	19. Visitors and mending

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CHAPTER WARNINGS: Fighting (all verbal, and it ends well), mentions of panic attacks, mentions of therapy, crying, mentions of past violence/bullying

**_Chapter 19: Visitors and Mending_ **

It was about noon when visitors were allowed in three days after Virgil had fully woken up. He had met with Dr. Stokes the previous day, and they had decided that it was safe for Virgil to have his belongings and have visitors come in for a while. He would still be kept in the hospital for another week or so and continue to meet with Dr. Stokes as a precautionary measure, but things were pretty good! Stacy or the other watch nurse were still required to be there at almost all times, but the nurse that was there during the day was pretty loose about it and even took Virgil out into the garden for a while once.

Virgil spent most of his time drawing or talking to Stacy, he even played guitar for her a couple times, and she offered that if the staff agreed, he might even be able to do a little show for some of the little kids who were there. He was a bit nervous, as it really reminded him of Thomas, but Dr. Stokes agreed that it might be helpful to be able to return to old habits, kind of like working to fill the space that was left where his brother used to be. 

It would never replace being able to play for his brother, and he was often reminded of that. Virgil still cried quietly in the late hours of the night when he remembered the lack of a sleeping child in his lap; still dug Thomas’ stuffed rabbit out of his bag and held it tight. He couldn’t bring himself to leave the rabbit at the grave. It felt a bit selfish of him, but he couldn’t find it in him to not take something to remember his brother by. It helped that Stacy was there now, she would always offer a supportive hand or a hug when he cried, but he just couldn’t shake the heavy feeling in his chest that came when he was no longer busy with checkups and activities at the day’s end. 

He often had brutal nightmares which woke him up in panic, (needless to say Stacy was now very well practiced in dealing with Panic attacks, which she joked about on many occasions) but Stacy would always be there to calm him down and hold him when he needed a shoulder to cry on. His relationships with Stacy and Janus definitely would not be classified as professional, and under almost any other case the two hospital workers would be told off for acting in such a casual way, but once you saw the two adults comforting Virgil after a bad night, there was no doubt in anyone’s mind that it was exactly what Virgil needed. He needed support, guidance, and a steady relationship with adults, and Stacy and Janus kind of acted as his stand in parents at the hospital. 

The first people to visit once he was deemed stable enough were the Sanders. Virgil was scared at first when they walked through the doors. He didn’t know what they would think of him now, after having seen him at his worst. Would they see him as a burden too? 

Much to Virgil’s surprise, the first one to speak when they came and sat down in the room was not Roman, but Patton. 

“Hey, Kiddo.” Patton greeted with a sad smile. 

“Hey…” Virgil returned the greeting, unsure about how to go about his conversation.

“How are you feeling?” Logan asked hesitantly, his already awkward social skills not really coming in handy in this situation.

“I’m alright” Virgil responded, taking a deep breath before moving onto the topic of conversation that everyone seemed to be avoiding. “Look, I’m really sorry that you had to see that, and thank you for saving me, especially you Roman. I know I’ve hurt you and you had no reason to-” 

“No” Roman interrupted Virgil, shocking everyone into silence as he spoke for the first time since getting here. “You may have dropped off the face of the earth with no warning,  _ twice _ , but that doesn’t discount everything you’ve done for me Virgil. And even if you had done nothing but hurt me, no one deserves to believe that they would be better off in death.” Roman spat bitterly, tears rolling down his face and a fiery passion burning in his eyes. “You were hurting, and you did what you felt that you had to, and  _ I’m  _ sorry that you felt that running off to Chespeak to live on the streets was your best option. I should have noticed something, or done more to let you know that you would have always been welcome in our home should you need it.  _ I’m sorry I wasn’t enough _ .” Roman finished in a broken whisper. 

Virgil stared at him with wide teary eyes as he processed what Roman was saying.  _ What lies has he been telling himself!? _

Stacy and the adults watched the conversation with wary eyes, ready to jump in and diffuse anything should it get dangerous for  _ either _ teen. 

“ _ Roman,  _ what are you talking about!?” Virgil gasped. “ You aren’t to blame for  _ any  _ of this, you’ve been my only friend for years,  _ heck,  _ you’ve been the only person our age that hasn’t wanted to kill me for one reason or another since 7th grade! I pushed you away because you were  _ too  _ good! You were so  _ happy _ , and  _ caring _ , and so incredibly  _ brave _ , I wasn’t good enough for you! I didn’t want to burden you with my problems!” He argued. “You chose to hang out with me out of the goodness in your heart even though hanging out with me painted a glowing red target on your back! You got  _ beat up  _ because of me!!” Tears were now flowing freely down both of their faces as Roman stood up and practically lunged at Virgil, pulling the boy into a tight hug.

Logan stood up to get Roman off of Virgil, but Patton just laid a hand on his shoulder, signaling to stay back for now. 

“Virgil, you are  _ not to blame  _ for Matthew’s choices. He may have his reasons, but that does not excuse  _ anything  _ he has done to you. He may have been hurting after his grandfather’s death, but that doesn’t give him the right to take it out on you.” Roman growled, a fierce protectiveness in his voice. “I would get beaten black and blue a million times over if it means I get to keep you in my life. You mean  _ so much  _ to me stormcloud,” He said with teary eyes, “ _ I’m never letting you go again.”  _ Roman whispered, hugging Virgil tighter. 

Virgil simply returned the hug, albeit a bit more cautiously than Roman. He still couldn’t quite make himself believe that he  _ deserved  _ this, but he’d be darned if he let it slip away so quickly. Virgil gave a wet chuckle and tucked his head into Roman’s shoulder. 

“ _ I think I’m okay with that” _


	20. Extra Chapter: I Made It

**_Chapter 20: I Made It_ **

_ 3 years later....  _

Virgil stood in front of the crowd of thousands of graduates and their families. He still couldn’t believe that the school had asked **_him_** of all people to do a speech. He was surprised enough that they let him back into the school system without penalty, but he never imagined he’d be standing up in front of all these people to talk about his life. He took a deep breath before taking one last glance down at his notecards, and setting them to the side. He knew this one by heart. 

“Hello everybody, my name is Virgil Sanders, and today I will be telling you a story. This is not a tale of dragons and knights, just as our worlds are no longer safe and structured lives.

They always say that this moment, right now, standing up here with our diplomas is the moment when we become adults. Real adults who work for a living, and face hardships that are unknown to us in the moment, but I think a little differently, because I, Virgil Sanders, formerly Virgil Thompson, have fought my way through hell and high water to be here.

But it’s not just my story. It is the story of every student up here today. It is the story of walking the line between greatness and suicide, between life and death. It is the story of every student who has watched the light fade from their loved ones eyes, every student who has watched another living human being die in front of their eyes. 

This is for every student who has lashed out at another and made others carry the bruises that covered their own skin, every student who went home to an alleyway and a molding slice of bread as their only meal. This is for every student who was forced to grow up too fast. 

Every single student that stands here today, has fought their way through the uncertainty and cruelty of the world we live in. Some had the help of a loving family along the way, some held on by a string as they dangled alone over the black pit of depression. Some were helped by strangers who they will never see again, and some kept fighting just to see the light in another’s eyes. 

I stand here today to represent every student who has fought their silent battle, and I am here to tell you that it gets better. 

I am not here for pity. I do not want your handouts when I tell you that I was homeless for a little under a year. I do not want your freebies on a test when you see the scars that cover my body from years of violent bullying. I do not want your fake praise when I explain how I had to keep myself and my chronically Ill brother alive on the streets, and I do not expect you to like me just because he calls me a hero. I am not here to put myself in the spotlight, I am here to address everyone here who thinks that their stories will never get told, and I stand here on this stage to reach out a hand to anyone who thinks that their story will never be told. 

Your story **_can_** be told, but you need to stand up and tell it. So today, as you leave behind the school you have spent 7 hours a day in for the past 6 years, I want you to tell your story. Show your scars with the pride that you survived, write your story on paper and submit it to a competition. Go and allow yourself to be loved by those around you because **_you are worth it_** _._

You have fought to stand here today, so don’t let anyone tell you that you don’t deserve to be here. 

My name is Virgil sanders, and I wish you all the best of luck in your lives ahead of you. Go make the world proud, and show them what we’re made of.” 

And with that, Virgil took a bow and walked off stage to stand with his fellow students. A couple called out their congratulations, a few teary eyed, but Virgil was looking for a particular student among the crowd. He spotted the boy waving him over in the crowd, and went to stand next to his best friend.

“So,” Roman began excitedly, practically bouncing up and down “Got a grand message to the world Mr. Salutatorian?” Roman joked, gesturing towards the script he was holding in his hands. 

“Other than that 10 minute thing I just did? Yeah,” Virgil said with a sly smirk. “It consists of three words.” 

**_"I made it"_ **


	21. ALTERNATE ENDING: Chapter 12: Searching soul and street for answers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here's an alternate ending where Thomas doesn't die! It's much more fluffy and includes more interaction between Virgil and Roman

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CHAPTER WARNINGS: Illness, crying

_ Jones street, maybe? It seems to have a good flow of people, and I’ve definitely seen unlicensed players there.  _ Virgil currently sat in the empty computer lab of Chespeak city public library looking at street maps and trying to find new places to busk until Emile and Remy return. Casey may ignore their wishes when they are gone, but the moment the Picani’s step into the shop she is on her  _ best  _ behavior, meaning that Virgil will be safe, but until then he had to stay away. 

Virgil looked down in his lap to see Thomas still curled up. The child was still running a fever, but despite the ibuprofen it wasn’t going down. Virgil had taken an old rag and wet it with cold water in the bathroom sink to drape across Thomas’ head to try and keep the fever down, which had helped a little. Virgil was still getting increasingly worried however. It was getting dark and the temperatures were in the single digits and dropping fast. Not to mention the fact that it wasn’t safe for them to return to the junkyard just yet, so they would likely be stuck in an alleyway for the night with nothing but blankets to protect Thomas from the cold biting air. 

If Virgil was  _ scared  _ earlier, now he was  _ terrified _ . And being terrified running on 1 collective hour of sleep in the past 84 hours was _ not  _ a good feeling to have. Sadly however, the time passed quickly, and when Virgil looked down at the computer screen to check the time, it was already 9pm, which marked closing time for the library. Virgil took a deep breath to clear his head before logging out of the computer and shoving the wet rag back in his backpack. Virgil waved goodbye to the librarian who was locking up before shifting Thomas to be as comfortable as possible in his arms. 

Virgil used his shoulder to push open the door and let out an involuntary shiver as the cold air slammed into him like a brick. Thomas also seemed to notice, as he let out a small whimper and curled closer to Virgil’s chest. Virgil did his best to ignore the pitiful coughs that racked through Thomas’ trembling body as he walked around looking for somewhere warm they could stay. However, the longer they walked, the more pitiful and quiet the coughs became. Virgil thought this was a good thing at first, maybe the cold was helping to keep his temperature down! But as Thomas became strangely still in his arms, Virgil looked down. 

He nearly screamed. The only sign that Thomas was even  _ breathing  _ was the shallow rise and fall of his chest, and the occasional shiver that passed through him. Thomas was deathly pale, but his face was flushed. So at 10:59 PM, Virgil did the only thing he could think of doing. No, it wasn’t calling the hospital. He still couldn’t bring himself to do that, and he had no way to pay it off. He wasn’t exactly sure how the hospital would handle a case like this, but he knew nothing came for free. No, what he did was dig deep into his guitar case and pull out the one number he swore to himself he would never call after he left Valerian. He shakily pulled out his flip phone he used for work and punched in the numbers. 

**_Roman Prince_ **

**_(256) - 503 - 6034_ **

_ *Ring Ring* _

_ *Ring Ring*  _

_ *Ring Ring*  _

_ Fuck this, he’s not goiing to answ-  _

_ “Hello?” _ A voice rang out from the other end of the line. Virgil never realized until that moment how much he missed hearing that voice. 

_ “Hellooo? If you don’t answer I’m going to hang up. I mean who the flippity-” _

“ _ Wait!  _ Please, don’t hang up! _ ” _ Virgil nearly shouted. A sudden silence filled the air.

_ “Stormcloud?”  _ Roman called quietly, as if he were afraid to speak the name out loud. 

“Yeah,” Virgil’s breath hitched, he was vaguely aware of the tears streaming down his face. “It’s me princey….” A gasp could be heard from the other side of the line, but a feeble cough from the boy in Virgil’s arms reminded him that he needed to be quick about this. Tears could wait. 

“Look, Roman. I know that this is sudden, and I know that I’ve been missing for months, but I’m here now, and I need your help. P-please. I-it’s Thomas. I can’t lose him Ro, I can’t lose him!” Virgil frantically cried into the phone. “He-it’s so cold, and he is running a fever- I need help Ro, I can’t lose him and I don’t have anywhere to go!” 

_ “Virgil, stormcloud, I need you to calm down. I’m going to get my father’s right now, we can come pick you up, but I need you to stay calm so you can tell us where you are, alright?”  _

As Roman races to his parent’s room Virgil tries to keep his breathing under control. He looks around to see a street sign, or something to identify where he is, when his eyes land on a jewelry store across the road. 

Virgil can hear muffled talking from Roman’s end of the call for a few seconds before a familiar voice rang out from the other end of the line. 

_ “Hey sweetie, this is Patton, I’m Roman’s dad. I need you to tell me where you are so we can come get you. I promise that everything is going to be alright, but we need to know where you are.”  _

“Patton!” Virgil cried out “It’s Virgil, from Emile and Remy’s thanksgiving party!” 

_ “Virgil!?” _ Patton cried out in shock. _ “Alright, first thing’s first. Where are you? I know you are in Chespeak, but is there a store around you, or a street sign, or anything that you can tell me the name of so we know where you are?”  _

“U-um, right across the street is a place called Shea’s jewelry.” Virgil replied. 

_ “Alright, good job. We’re on our way. Now, are you hurt at all?”  _

“Well, I’m fine, but Thomas is running a high fever and we’re stuck outside. His breathing is pretty shallow and he’s in a lot of pain, and I don’t know what to do!” Virgil frantically relayed the information to Patton. He could hear the car engine starting in the background of the call. 

_ “ alright, We have blankets and a wet cloth in the back of the car to help once we get there, but I need you to hang tight okay? I may be pushing traffic laws, but I should be there in about 30 minutes, okay?”  _

Patton arrived in 20 minutes when it took 45 by bus. Needless to say, he broke a few more than  _ a couple _ speed limits, but Virgil cried out in relief when the semi familiar light blue minivan pulled up on the side of the road as Virgil waved them over. 

“Patton! Roman!” Virgil cried as he raced to the car.

“Hey, stormcloud. It’s okay, you’re safe now. We’re here to help.” Roman tried his best to keep his voice calm, because as much as he would love to scream right now, Virgil needed him to be calm. 

“Hey bud,” Patton placed a hand on Virgil’s shoulder.” We’re here now. I’m going to take Thomas into the backseat, okay? I’m no doctor, but I can look him over and see what is the best course of action. I promise I’ll be gentle.” Patton requested softly. Virgil reluctantly moved Thomas into Patton's arms. It was the last thing he wanted to do, and it took all his willpower to let go of his brother, but he trusted Patton, and Thomas needed help that Virgil might not be able to give him. 

“Just be very careful, especially with his joints,” Virgil warned. “ Flare ups mean that the arthritis gets really bad, and since the fever already causes pain and discomfort he is in a lot of pain. I used ibuprofen to help him manage the pain and fever, but it is still going to hurt.” Virgil explained.

“I will be as gentle as I can, I promise.” Patton gently reassured him. 

“ _ Thank you _ ” Virgil watched silently as Patton took his brother into the backseat of the car, but decided he should probably turn his attention to the person who probably deserves an explanation the most. Virgil turned to Roman, expecting him to grill Virgil with questions, but to his surprise, the only thing he saw was a pair of open arms. 

Virgil flew at Roman, almost knocking him down as he crashed into his arms and clung to the boy like his life depended on it. Virgil cried as Roman pulled him in closer and ran a soothing hand through his hair. 

“It’s alright Virgil, I’m right here.” Roman cooed “I’m here and I’m never letting you go again, I promise. You will never have to be alone again.” Virgil just cried harder at these words and let out all of the pain and fear he had felt that night. “I thought I lost you stormcloud, where did you go?” Roman gently tried to press him for answers, but when Virgil shook his head against Roman’s chest, he decided not to push any further. “Alright, you don’t have to tell me now. I understand you must be pretty scared right now. You don’t have to answer. 

“ _ ‘m sorry.”  _ Virgil whimpered, pushing himself somehow further into Roman’s chest. Even after the sobs subsided, Virgil was still shaking like mad. It took Roman a moment to realize why.  _ This kid is wearing a threadbare hoodie in subzero temperatures!? _

“Great stars, stormcloud, why are you just in a hoodie!? Virgil, It’s negative 10 degrees!” Roman exclaimed. Virgil whimpered at the volume of Roman’s speech. He didn’t like yelling, yelling was never good. Roman’s frown just deepened when Virgil flinched at the noise. “Oh, no. I’m sorry Virgil, I shouldn’t have yelled. I’m not mad at you, I promise.” Roman placed his chin on the top of Virgil’s head and held the boy close.

“Do you want to go inside the car? It’s nice and warm in there, and dad is probably finished with Thomas. You can sit in the back with him.” Roman gently offered. Virgil nodded into Roman’s chest. “Alright, everything’s going to be alright. I promise. And a prince always holds true to his promise.” Roman added in a little bit of his usual dramatic flair. 

“That he does,” Virgil laughed wetly. He used his sleeve to quickly scrub at the tear tracks on his face before allowing Roman to guide him to the car. Roman helped Virgil into the backseat, where Virgil moved Thomas’ head onto his lap. The boy was now free of the two winter coats that had swaddled him before, and He seemed to be breathing much easier now that he wasn’t being suffocated by all that fabric. 

Roman watched in awe as Thomas’s shoulders untense with a mere touch of Virgil’s hand. It seemed that Thomas knew it was his brother, as he squirmed to move further into virgil’s lap. Virgil just chuckled and happily obliged, moving the boy to be held safely in his arms. As Virgil’s soft singing filled the air, a serene peace filled the car, and in that moment, everyone just seemed to know one thing for sure. 

_ Things were going to be okay.  _


	22. Alternate Ending; Chapter 13: A Song To Remember From A Time I Want To Forget

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CHAPTER WARNINGS: mentions of death,

**_Alternate Ending; Chapter 13: A Song To Remember From A Time I Want To Forget_ **

About 40 minutes later, they arrived back at the house to see Logan waiting patiently on the couch. 

“Greetings Virgil, I assume you are the mystery friend that disappeared a couple months back, then?” Logan asked while adjusting his glasses. Virgil just gave a sheepish grin and nodded his head. 

“Well, I’m glad we finally found you, kiddo, but we can do questions later. Why don’t we quickly give Thomas a bath to help ease the discomfort and get all clean, and then we can move him into the guest bedroom to rest.” Patton suggested. Virgil agreed, and so they showed Virgil to the bathroom. Thomas was still asleep in his brother’s arms, but came into semi awareness at the sound of running water. 

“Vee?” Thomas croaked. 

“Hey Tommy,” Virgil breathed a sigh of relief. 

“Where,-”Thomas began, but he was cut off by a cough.” where are we?” 

“We’re with Logan and Patton bud, remember them from the party at Emiles? They’re gonna help you feel better.” Virgil softly explained. 

“  _ ‘kay _ ” Thomas whispered before the moment of clarity was over, and he seemed to be back in a half conscious limbo of sorts. Awake enough to feel things and react (albeit a bit slowly) but not awake enough to remember or comprehend much of anything. 

Once the bath was done running Virgil slowly placed Thomas in the water. Virgil didn’t want to get his clothes wet, so he took off his shoes and rolled up his pant legs before sitting on the edge of the tub, keeping Thomas sitting semi-upright between his legs. The clean water was soon turned a muddy gray and Thomas’s dark brown hair turned a few shades lighter into more of a caramel color.  _ I should probably ask if I can use the shower too at a later point. I’m sure I smell like crap.  _ Virgil thought with a wince.  _ But that’s a problem for later _ . 

“Hey Ro!” Virgil called. Virgil heard a rapid succession of footsteps before the door practically flung open. 

“Is everything okay Virge!?” Roman asked, huffing slightly from his impromptu sprint. Virgil just laughed at his friend’s over the top reaction. 

“Chill, everything is fine. I was wondering if you could grab my backpack from the car?” Virgil asked. “It has Thomas’ pajamas and meds.” 

“Of course my dear knight. I shall retrieve it for you!” Roman called, making grand sweeping gestures with his arms in his usual theatrical fashion. There was a reason Virgil had dubbed him  _ Princey _ . Other than the fact that he looks like a real life disney prince that is.  _ Broad shoulders _ ,  _ curly hair that somehow falls perfectly without him trying, a singsong voice-.  _ Virgil’s thoughts were interrupted by the prince himself reentering the bathroom dragging Virgil's backpack.

“Good  _ lord,  _ virgil! This thing weighs like 30 pounds! What on earth do you keep in there!?” Virgil laughed at Roman’s dramatics before pulling the backpack closer to himself and digging through it to find the pajamas. 

“I can tell you  _ exactly  _ what I keep in there.” Virgil replied with a smirk. “I keep my pair of shirt and pants, along with a semi formal purple button up and a pair of dress pants. Thomas’s shirts and pants, along with his nicer looking top and his light jacket. I keep a loaf of bread and 3 water bottles, as well as a bottle of ibuprofen and Thomas’ meds. And lastly, I carry our winter coats when they are not on us and a first aid kit. I also currently have two empty containers that I wasn’t able to give back to Emile and Remy before they left. Oh yeah, and I can’t forget mr. rabbit.” Roman stared in shock as Virgil easily listed off  _ every item _ that filled that backpack. Virgil just looked back over with a smug grin while holding up a pair of fluffy red pajamas pants and a white shirt. “Boom.” Virgil said miming a mic drop, just for effect. 

Virgil turned his attention from the shellshocked Roman to his brother, who seemed slightly more awake than before. 

“I’m gonna lift you out of the tub, alright bud? We’re gonna get you dry and then change you into pajamas.” Virgil explained, even though he knew there was a high chance that Thomas wasn’t going to comprehend what he was saying. 

Virgil gently slid his around Thomas and lifted the boy up onto a towel Virgil had laid across his lap. Virgil took the edges of the towel and gently patted the boy dry before moving to change him into pajamas. Once Thomas was fully dressed, Virgil unplugged the drain and moved his own legs out of the water. Virgil cast a glance to Roman, who silently zipped up the backpack and led Virgil, who was still holding Thomas to his chest, back to the living room where they found Patton and Logan talking on the couch. 

“Ah, you are finished,” Logan observed as he saw the boys approaching. “I will show you where the guest bedroom is. That is where you and Thomas will be staying for the moment.” Logan explained while standing up from the couch. He pressed a quick kiss to Patton’s forehead before leading the boys up the stairs. 

“Why don’t you go to bed, Roman. We will make sure that Virgil and Thomas are alright, and if anything happens I promise that either Patton or I will come get you.” Logan suggested before gently herding Roman off to his room.Logan took Virgil’s bag from Roman’s shoulders and lifted it with ease before continuing down the hallway past Roman’s room. Logan approached a plain oak door and held it open for Virgil. 

The room was decently sized with a queen sized bed and a desk on the other side of the room. There was a small bedside table with drawers built into it on the left side of the bed. Virgil stood there for a moment, allowing himself a deep breath before walking up to the bed and sliding Thomas under the covers. It was nearing 2 in the morning according to the digital clock that lay on the nightstand. 

“I will be in our room talking to Patton. The bedroom is the next door down the hall on the left, so if you need anything do not hesitate to come get us.” Logan instructed. 

“I will, thank you so much for all of your help. I’m afraid I might have lost him if you didn’t come. I apologize for troubling you so late at night, but thank you for coming to get us. You are truly amazing people.” Virgil thanked Logan. Logan gave Virgil a soft smile, but it broke his heart a little bit to think that Virgil thought they would simply leave him there. 

“It is not an issue Virgil, I’m just glad you are safe.” Logan replied. The older man then walked out of the room and into the hallway where he met up with Patton. Patton stood in the hallway with a smile, but Logan knew that no matter how happy his husband tried to act, his heart was probably breaking right now. Patton had always been the more emotional one, and no matter how well he tried to hide it, Logan always seemed to see through his facade. 

Logan simply wrapped his arms around Patton and held him close as silent tears fell down Patton’s face. Logan slowly swayed back and forth in a soothing motion and rested his chin in the other’s curly hair. 

\---

Back in the room, Virgil sat in a chair beside the bed and held Thomas’ hand as the boy slept. At least, Virgil thought he was asleep, so it came as a shock when he heard a small whisper coming from the bed. 

“ _ Vee? _ ” The whisper came from Thomas, who was now scooting closer to his brother. 

“ _ Hey Thomas, _ ” Virgil whispered back. A wave of relief washed over him. 

“ _ Vee, it hurts.”  _ Thomas whimpered. Virgil could see the tears forming in his eyes. Virgil quickly thought back to when the last dose of Ibuprofen was, and deemed it safe to give Thomas another to help with the pain. 

“ _ I know, Thomas. I know it hurts, and you are being so brave. You’re the bravest kid I know. _ ” Virgil praised. Virgil swiftly grabbed a near empty water bottle out of his backpack along with two tablets of Ibuprofen, and moved to face Thomas once again. Thomas slowly sat up, and with Virgil’s help, he was able to take the ibuprofen with a few bites of bread so as to not upset his stomach. After Virgil had gotten Thomas to drink a bit more water, he helped him lay back down under the covers. They sat in silence for a couple minutes, their minds finally catching up with everything that has happened. After a few minutes of silence, Thomas spoke once again. 

“Vee?” 

“Yeah, Thomas?” 

“Will you sing me a song?” 

“Sure, Tommy. What song?” Thomas shifted uncomfortably in the bed, but he hesitantly answered. 

“C-can you sing the one mommy used to sing after daddy died?” Thomas quietly requested. Virgil took a deep breath and did his best to keep his hands steady as he rubbed his thumb in circles on the back of Thomas’ hand. 

“Of course Tommy. I know you used to love that song.” Virgil replied with a smile. Thomas slowly sat up and moved across the bed to crawl into Virgil’s lap. 

Virgil allowed a soft smile to creep on to his face as he took one of the blankets off of the bed and wrapped it around Thomas. 

“Yeah,” Thomas said with a yawn. “Mommy said the song helped make the pain better. I know it was just the medicine, but it still reminds me of her. _ I miss her _ .” Thomas quietly admitted. 

“I know Tommy,” Virgil whispered. “ _ I miss her too _ .” 

And just for a moment, Virgil allowed himself to remember. Remember what it felt like to be held by his mother, to be sung a lullaby that was meant just for him. Remember what it was like to be allowed to show weakness and fear. Virgil just let himself remember as he adjusted Thomas in his lap.  _ That’s not my place now though,  _ Virgil thought with a sad smile.  _ Now it’s time to be strong for Thomas. I can be weak later, but right now Thomas needs me.  _

“ _ You are my sunshine, my only sunshine _ .” 

Virgil called up the words that were ingrained deep in his memories, and savored every note as if it were the most amazing thing life could give. 

“ _ You make me happy~ when skies are grey.”  _

As Virgil sang, He thought of all the times with his own mother. He thought back to the days when things were simple and he was a carefree child. 

_ “You’ll never know dear, how much I love you _ ” 

He allowed himself to walk through all the memories he’d shoved away since his mother’s death and just allowed himself to  _ feel _ . 

_ “Please don’t take my sunshine away.”  _

Virgil watched as Thomas’ eyes peacefully slipped closed below him, and listened as his breathing became deep and steady. 

_ “The other night dear, while I lay sleeping”  _

Virgil continued the song, more for his own sake than that of his sleeping brother. Continuing to feel his way through every memory of the soft touches and gentle words he used to hear every night. 

“ _ I dreamt I held you in my arms.” _

Virgil tried to remember every detail of his mother’s embrace. Tried to imagine how it would feel to be held safely in her arms. 

_ “When I awoke dear, I was mistaken,”  _

Tears streamed down Virgil’s face as he remembered the night when he watched his own mother die in his arms. The woman he had idolized, the person he had always thought of as invincible, taking her final breath in his arms, not in a house, but on the cold wet stone of the alleyway on 54th street. 

“ _ So I hung my head, and cried.”  _

Virgil remembered crying that night. Breaking down into sobs as he pressed a final kiss to his mother’s head before he carried a screaming Thomas away from the body their mother once called home. Thomas begged Virgil to turn back; screamed for their mother to wake up,  _ but she never did _ . 

_ “Y-you are m-my sunsh-shine.”  _

Virgil choked on his words as silent sobs wracked his body. He forced himself to continue as he moved to lay Thomas back on the bed. 

“ _ M-my only s-sunshine.”  _

He gently laid Thomas’ head on the pillow and tucked the blankets around his frail body. 

_ “You make me-me h-happy ~ W-when skies are grey.”  _

The notes were muting as he struggled to draw in enough air to sing in between hiccuping breaths. 

_ “You’ll never know, dear, h-how m-much I love you. _ ” 

Virgil placed a kiss to the crown of Thomas’ head before turning to leave the room. 

_ “Please don’t take-”  _ Virgil choked on the last words of the song as he leaned against the outside of the bedroom door. “ _ M-my sunshine away.”  _ He finished. 

“ _ Please don’t take my sunshine away.” _ A voice softly echoed from the end of the hall. 

Virgil looked up to see Patton gently closing the door to his own room and walking towards Virgil. Virgil held a hand to his mouth as he tried to stop the sobs that racked his body. Patton continued to walk towards Virgil and positioned himself in front of Virgil. His heart broke at how small the boy looked when he wasn’t putting up a strong facade. Patton held his arms out in invitation. Virgil just stared at him for a second, tears streaking down his face before he collapsed into Patton’s arms. 

Patton caught Virgil as the boy’s knees buckled underneath his own weight. He slowly lowered himself and Virgil to the ground and simply held onto the shaking boy. Patton used one hand to rub circles on Virgil’s back and used the other to just hold him close. The boy broke out into loud sobs as he was held. Patton just whispered soft comforts in his ear and gently rocked back and forth. Logan came running at the noise, but when he saw the scene down the hall, he just sent his husband a soft smile in understanding and quietly went back into his room. Patton knew what the boy needed, and Logan trusted him to do what was best. Roman also woke up at the noise, and he silently crept down the hallway to see what the commotion was about. Patton saw that he was about to race towards Virgil and just shook his head when Roman looked to him for guidance. 

Roman seemed to understand, as he walked quietly back to his room. 

Patton shifted Virgil so the boy was sitting in his lap, much like he had seen Virgil do for Thomas, and ran a hand through the boy’s hair. Virgil may act tough, but in this moment it is clear to see that Virgil is just as much of a scared child as his brother. The only difference between the two is that Virgil was forced to be an adult too soon. 

Patton continued to hold Virgil as the boy’s sobs turned to quiet hiccups, and eventually subsided into the mere rising and falling of his chest.  _ He must have had a lot of pain bottled up in there.  _ Patton thought with a frown. He looked down at the boy in his arms, who was now fast asleep.  _ I wonder how long he had stayed up caring for Thomas _ . Patton questioned in passing, but as he looked down to see the dark circles under Virgil’s eyes, it became pretty clear that he might not want to know that answer. 

And in that moment Patton promised himself to do whatever he had to do to make sure that this sweet child  _ never  _ felt so alone again. 

Everyone in that house knew that things would never be the same again.

_ but maybe that wasn’t such a bad thing.  _

\----

In the morning, Virgil would wake up in Patton's arms. He would thank every deity out there that he had somehow stumbled into the lives of the most amazing people to ever walk this earth. Patton would wake up shortly after and walk Virgil down to the kitchen, where Patton would teach Virgil how to make waffles. Virgil would thank Patton once again only to find himself wrapped in another hug. 

When the others came down he would tell them his story, beginning with the cold dead eyes of his father, and ending with the night he had called upon the only person he knew wouldn’t hang up on him. He would tell them of that terrible night in the park, and tell them about Dr. Janus Sullivan. He would talk about the old lady in the park and Emile and Remy. He would recall tales of laughs and hardships throughout the morning. Laughs would be heard, and tears would be shed, but most importantly, 

There was  _ love  _ to be found. 


	23. Artwork!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! so, it's been a while since I've written this and I thought I would finally show some of the art that I did to go along with this story! Thank you so much for all of the amazing feedback, and I hope you enjoy!

**Author's Note:**

> Hello there! Kudos and comments are greatly appreciated and I will do my best to respond to comments as soon as possible! If you don't want me to respond to your comment then feel free to put 'whisper' at the beginning of your comment and I will leave it alone, and if not then expect a reply! If you think I missed anything in the tags or chapter warnings, then feel free to tell me in the comments and I will add said tag as soon as I can.
> 
> See you next time!  
> \- Aspen


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